Never Forget
by Lia Walker
Summary: Pre-series AU. Dean and John are working separate hunts in New York when the unthinkable happens. It wasn’t supposed to happen like this; it was supposed to be an easy hunt. Hurt!Dean, Angst!Sam!Angst!John. Contains delicate issues. Ridley's Brotherhood.
1. Chapter 1

**Never Forget**

**Synopsis**: Pre-series. Dean and John are working separate hunts in New York when the unthinkable happens. It wasn't supposed to happen like this; it was supposed to be an easy hunt. Hurt!Dean Angst!Sam Angst!John

**Setting: **This story is set mutually in Palo Alto California; but mainly in NYC on September 11th 2001. Pre-series.

**Disclaimer: **Supernatural and all of their associated content belong to Eric Kripke and the CW, I own nothing of the sort.

**A/N: **This may contain some material that some readers find sensitive and it is pre-series AU. Reviews Appreciated And Thank you to my AMAZING Beta Merisha!

"Time is passing. Yet, for the United States of America, there will be no forgetting September the 11th. We will remember every rescuer who died in honor. We will remember every family that lives in grief. We will remember the fire and ash, the last phone calls, the funerals of the children. "  
- President George W. Bush, November 11, 2001

**7:32 AM, September 11****th****, 2001**

"Yeah, Dad…" Dean told him "It's a simple poltergeist, nothing I haven't handled before."

"_I know, Dean, but it's your first hunt alone and I'll be honest…I don't like it."_

"Dad, I'm 22 years old, I've been hunting since I was 5!" Dean reminded him

"_I know…I just have a bad feeling about this one son."_

"Look, both of these hunts are pieces of cake. I joined the department no problem, using my real name did kinda help, considering I'm working for the city. It's a poltergeist in an office building, how hard can it be?"

"_You'd be surprised son, even the most simple of hunts can turn on you. Now are you sure the inspection is scheduled for the 11__th__?"_

"I'm positive, I've done all my research. It's not as easy without geek boy, but…." Dean trailed off, immediately regretting his words. He knew how his father hated to be reminded of his younger brother's betrayal.

They hadn't spoken his name in nearly 8 months, since Sammy's abrupt departure.

John's sigh could be heard over the line.

"_Just be careful kid."_

"Always, Dad." Dean smiled as he hung his phone up.

He turned around to the stand next to the bed of the motel where he wass currently staying.

"Shower…Check." He thought aloud.

He grabbed his turn-out gear from the desk and headed down to his car.

"Well baby, this oughta be interesting." He said as he sat himself down in his beautiful 67' Chevy Impala. "Who knows, maybe we'll get to fight one of these big-city fires along the way!"

He pulled into his new assigned parking spot at station 52 in Lower Manhattan.

There had been reported sightings of an angry poltergeist in the South Tower of the World Trade Center. The evidence built up after the third person inexplicably jumped to their death.

He'd had the perfect cover. He signed up for the firefighting program and after a couple weeks of training and registering for a NYS License he was ready to report for duty.

Today's inspection would be particularly useful considering he'd be working in the south tower from 9:00 AM until 11:00 AM with the rest of his squadron.

Seeing civilians die all because some stock-broker decided to jump from the building after the Great Depression was unnerving, especially knowing that nothing had been done immediately after the first suicide and more people had been dying because of it. If they had just known sooner, maybe they could have saved some of those lives.

These victims had families too! Dean hated not being able to watch over his own sibling, Sammy, 24/7 anymore, but life goes on, or at least he'd tried to convince himself of that.

He lined up with the rest of his crew for role call and waited for the daily chores to be assigned.

"Baker…" his captain began, "You've got kitchen duty."

"Rodriguez…You've got dorms."

"Stoker… Start hanging the hoses."

"Gage and DeSoto…Make sure the squad is up to date on supplies and then help Stoker with the hoses."

"Winchester… Oh, you're the new one." The captain smiled as he glanced at his newest member. "You'll be happy to know you've got latrines."

Dean groaned as the other members of his shift laughed at his misfortune. "Damn firemen", he grumbled under his breath.

"Got somethin' to say about my orders Winchester?" The captain asked with mock seriousness.

"No sir." Dean replied suddenly, feeling sheepish.

"Good, then get to work men! We'll be heading out at 8:30 for the drills." He then dismissed them.

Dean got right to work with his assigned task. It wasn't fun, but that didn't necessarily mean the work was hard.

When all of the chores were eventually finished, the men dressed in their turn-out after a quiet morning of chores and gathered in the engine bay.

"Alright…" The captain began, "DeSoto and Gage, you two head on over in the squad."

"Baker and Winchester, you head over on the engine… and Stoker, you and I can cover the ladder truck."

After all were loaded up and on the way, it was nearly 8:45.

* * *

John sat in his motel room going through the documents, knowing he couldn't do anything until at least 9 PM, after dark was the only time he would even chance going after the Llorana (or woman in white).

"Might as well see what this town has for news." He thought

He turned on CNN and watched regular programming.

Something felt…_off. _He couldn't think of any other way to describe it, but he knew it was something to do with Dean…it was his fatherly instinct again.

He'd had it since that fateful night when Mary was taken from him, it was almost like it had given him an ability to sense when one of his boys were in trouble and usually it was spot-on.

He glanced at his watch, it read 9:01. "I guess it can't hurt to call him…." He figured Dean would know to have his phone with him.

Just as he reached down to grab his cell phone, it immediately started ringing. He glanced at the caller ID and was astonished to see Dean's name pop up.

He quickly brought the phone to his ear. "Dean?" he questioned.

"Dad???" His son almost shouted into the phone.

"What is it, Dean?" John asked, knowing in his gut that something had gone very wrong from the tone of his son's voice.

"Don't…dad….news….radio…said…" He tried to relay the message to his father but the static made it almost impossible to understand what he was saying.

"What, Dean?" John had stood up and was now pulling his jacket on, paying no attention to the television.

"Loud, dad…falling…plane….news…" Dean tried to relay the message again but to no avail. John had gathered that something was loud and falling and something about the news.

It was then he remembered that he'd left CNN on the television and as he turned around, the sight that greeted him was enough to bring even the mighty John Winchester to his knees. There, on the television was a plane crashing into the South Tower at 9:03.

John glanced at his watch…_shit _it was 9:15.

"Dean?" John asked into the phone, praying that his son would answer him. "DEAN!" He tried again.

"Dad?" Dean questioned "Love…you." From the other end of the phone there was a terrible explosion and the call ended as abruptly as it had started.

"DEAN!" the heartbroken father yelled as he tried to re-connect the call.

"_The number you have reached is not in service at this…" _

"DAMNIT!" he yelled.

He knew immediately what he needed to do, he needed to get to the city. He quickly rushed from the room, grabbing only his keys and his cell phone as he jumped into his truck and sped towards the city, and his son.

* * *

Sam glanced at the clock as he turned on the television, it was only around 7:45 and classes didn't start until 8 so he decided he'd relax and watch a little TV.

He turned on the set and noticed that the last channel he'd been watching was ESPN and there was definitely nothing interesting about men's swimming. So he decided he'd try to catch up on current events and he turned on CNN.

When he caught site of the screen, he immediately dropped the bowl he was holding.

People were running in all directions, emergency crews were struggling to keep the injured on the stretchers while attempting to keep the frantic onlookers from exploding onto the scene.

He had no idea what'd happened or where it'd happened, so he turned the volume up as loud as it would go and sat back in stunned silence as the newscasters voice came on.

"_I am saddened to report to you all, that today, on September 11__th__ 2001, two planes have crashed into the North and South towers at the World Trade Center here in New York City. It is unknown at this time how many casualties there have been, but rescue efforts are under way as the rescue crews battle the blazes and the destruction to rescue the fallen. We will update you when more information becomes available."_

Sam sat back in astonishment. "How is that possible?" he wondered

"How could two planes hit two buildings and it just…" he struggled to think of why this happened or how it happened. He eventually came to the conclusion that this was no accident.

As he continued to watch the newscasts he couldn't help but notice it was quarter after 8, he'd missed his first class but to be honest he didn't care. What was happening right now across the country was far more important.

He wondered if his dad and brother knew about the tragedy, he hadn't talked to either of them in a long time but he thought he should at least call Dean and see how he was. So many people had lost there lives and their family members and Sam felt as though he needed to assure himself that his brother and his father were both okay.

He was about to reach for his phone when one of the on-scene reporters managed to catch an injured woman as she was walking away from an ambulance.

"_Ma'am__,__ what can you tell us in regards to what you've witnessed here today?" Asked the newscaster_

"_There's __bodies__all over the place. So much… __destruction… everything just __blew out of the building. There's got to be hundreds of people killed here. There's damage like five blocks away." _

The woman walked away from the newscasters shaking her head, it was too surreal.

As Sam was about to turn his head from the screen he caught site of a gurney being rushed from the rubble and into an awaiting ambulance as the debris continued to fall around it.

It was at first impossible to see the face but when he did, Sam switched the TV off.

"That looked like… but it couldn't have been…" He tried to convince himself as he picked up his cell phone and again turned the television on, muting the volume.

As he again caught site of the face, Sam was almost positive it wasn't Dean. This man, though built like his brother, had too much blood covering him for Sam to be sure. He had bandages extending from every visible part of his body and the rest was covered by the turn out gear.

Sam quickly turned away from the television and dialed Dean's cell phone number.

"_The number you have reached is not in service at this time, please hang up and try your call again or consult your directory for…"_

Sam hung up the phone and took a deep breath. He was about to call his dad and just as he hit the green button he heard a frantic voice on the other end.

"Sammy?" His dad cried into the phone. "Kiddo, please answer me."

"_Dad?" _Sam asked

"Oh god, Sammy…" John broke off unable to continue and it was at that moment Sam knew… that was no stranger on the TV.

"Dean…" John began again, trying to speak through his unstoppable tears. "Your brother, Sammy… New York City… The news." John managed to get across before he again broke into sobs.

"_Dad, I saw him" _Sam told his father, trying to console him while panic exploded through his entire body

"What?" Asked John.

"_On the news, Dad…they rushed him out on a gurney."_

"Oh, Thank God!" John cried, at least Dean was alive…for now.

"Sammy I need you… I… I know this college thing is important to you but…"

Sam felt his anger rise but bit his tongue.

"_I'm on my way, Dad." _Sam told him as he snapped his phone shut.

* * *

*Reviews = LOVE! I'm trying to be sensitive with this ENTIRE story and get my facts straight so please correct me if I've done something wrong or not to your satisfaction! And Thank you So Much to Merisha for being my beta!


	2. Chapter 2

**The Towers**

**Synopsis**: Pre-series. Dean and John are working separate hunts in New York when the unthinkable happens. It wasn't supposed to happen like this; it was supposed to be an easy hunt.

**Setting: **This story is set mutually in Palo Alto California; but mainly in NYC on September 11th 2001. Pre-series.

**Disclaimer: **Supernatural and all of their associated content belong to Eric Kripke and the CW, I own nothing of the sort.

**A/N: **This may contain some material that some readers find sensitive and it is pre-series AU. I am AWARE that there were NO FLIGHTS for the rest of the day and the days following 9/11 but this story is AU as I have said. Reviews Appreciated! **Had to re-post this chapter because someone amazing pointed out that my times were different with California and NewYork! So please don't be confused when reading as California is 3 hours different from NewYork!**

"The full horror of what has happened in the United States earlier today is now becoming clearer. It is hard even to contemplate the utter carnage and terror which has engulfed so many innocent people. We've offered President Bush and the American people our solidarity, our profound sympathy, and our prayers. But it is plain that citizens of many countries round the world, including Britain, will have been caught up in this terror. "  
-British Prime Minister Tony Blair, Interview, September 11, 2001.

**

* * *

**

**12:32 PM, September 11th, 2001**

John walked around the hospital's corridors in stunned silence.

He'd been to over 4 hospitals and none of them had any information on his son.

Bellevue was ultimately his last place to check…if his son wasn't here….

John didn't even want to think about the implications of his thoughts.

Dean _was _alive he _had _to be!

He glanced around in sadness as he noticed the many "Missing" posters that were stuck all over the walls and the faces of the poor souls on them.

"What am I thinking?" he asked aloud

His son _was _one of those poor souls.

"Coffee?" Asked a voice from behind him.

"What?" He said as he turned around.

"I have an extra cup of coffee," the elderly woman motioned, "I was wondering if you would like it. You look like you could use some."

"Yes, Thanks." John told her as he gratefully accepted the beverage.

"My name is Grace." The woman told him "I'm just here helping out however I can, my son was killed in the attack this morning."

"I'm sorry." John told her as he really looked at her for the first time, "I'm just…waiting on word for my son. I've been told he was on the news being rushed from the scene."

The old woman nodded in sympathy, "It's a rough time for our Nation, that's for sure."

"I don't mean to be so rude in asking this ma'am, but…how can you be so brave on a day like today?" he asked

"Well son, there's no use sitting around and crying when people need help. My son worked on the 42nd floor of the north tower, he called me before the collapse and asked me to be strong regardless of the outcome. I'll tell you right now, it's not easy, but all we can do is reach out and offer help wherever it's needed."

John nodded in agreement. "Thank You," he told her, "For just…ya know talking. It's appreciated."

The woman shook her head sadly as she glanced around at many of the 'Missing' posters, "What's sad son, is all of these people who won't be with their families anymore. Fathers, Mothers, Children, they were all somebody to someone."

"Now what did you say your sons name was?" asked the woman.

"I didn't," John told her, "But his name is Dean, and my name is John."

"John," she repeated, "That's a nice American name."

"I still can't believe that someone could be so cruel as to plan an attack like this on our country with no regard for the lives they'd be taking," she fumed

"What do you mean?" John asked, in all the frenzy in trying to locate Dean he hadn't been able to watch anymore of the news and he hadn't thought to try listening to the radio.

"Dear…" she told him, "They believe that this was a terrorist attack."

"WHAT?" John yelled, suddenly feeling his knees go weak.

"My son…was…by terrorists?" He was in absolute disbelief.

John had a very difficult time coming to terms with the fact that _people _had done this. And worse, he had a hard time coming to terms with the fact that Dean was caught in the middle!

They faced all different kinds of evil from Satanists, werewolves, spirits, and even vampires, but John had never seen such a cruel act, spawned from human nature.

"I'm sorry." She apologized, "I figured that word would've gotten around by now."

"I..this is the first I've heard of it." John told her

"Are you sure your son is at this hospital?" she asked him, desperately trying to change the subject for the man's sake.

"It's the last one," he whispered.

"The what?" she asked, having a difficult time understanding what he was saying.

"This is the last hospital that they've been taking victims to that I haven't checked," he told her.

"Have you talked to anyone?" she asked.

"I've tried, but everyone is so busy telling me to put my name here and there and offering their condolences, but DAMNIT, my son is NOT DEAD!" he yelled.

"Shh…come now dear," she told him as she led him by the arm.

"Where are we going?" he asked her.

She looked him right in the eye as she spoke, "We sir, are going to get some information about your son!"

She pulled him right through the anxious families and up to the front desk where nurses were scrambling to answer phones and hand out information sheets.

"Excuse me?" Grace asked politely, when no attention was paid to her she raised her voice up an octave, "Excuse ME!"

One of the nurses at the desk quickly walked over, "What can I help you with?" she asked Grace.

"This man is looking for his son." Grace told her pointedly

"Have you talked to anyone yet?" The nurse asked as she turned to John.

"Yes, I've talked to people but they just keep giving me identification forms and I've filled them out but no one has come out to help in any way!" he told her.

"I see, well let's get some information so I can do a quick check," she began.

"Was your son a pedestrian? A firefighter? Or Port Authority?" she asked.

"My son _**is **_a firefighter, his name is Dean Winchester." he told her.

"Wait, Winchester?" she asked.

John nodded his head yes. The nurse walked away leaving both John and Grace stunned.

"What the…" he began, but he saw the nurse walking back towards them carrying a large, blood spattered turn-out coat.

"Does this…" she started, turning the coat to the back so they could all see, "Look like your son's Jacket?"

John could've sworn that his jaw fell clean off his face as he looked at the reflective lettering that clearly stated 'WINCHESTER' in large capital letters.

"Yes." He felt tears come to his eyes for what had to be the third time on this day.

* * *

Sam glanced at the clock radio, it read '**10:24** AM'. He'd been driving for a little over two hours, hoping to make it to West Point by 12:00 PM.

All commercial flights going to or coming from anywhere within the continental United States were being grounded, so Sam had called a friend in West Point and his friend had agreed to get Sam as far as Desabo, a small town just outside of Sioux Falls, South Dakota, where he would be meeting Bobby Singer, Jim Murphy, Caleb and Mackland Ames.

From there they would be taking Mackland's Ford Explorer to New York. It wasn't as soon as he'd have liked to be there, but considering that all flights were technically grounded, he wasn't going to complain.

He really hoped that his father had found out more information about his brother.

As he was driving, all the guilt from the past eight months came back with a vengeance.

He remembered the last night he had seen his brother.

"_No, Dad, I'm going! I cannot STAND this life anymore! I am not your perfect little soldier like Dean! He follows you blindly, I'd be surprised if he even had a mind of his own!" yelled Sam, unaware that Dean was standing in the doorway behind him._

"_Samuel Winchester! If you walk out that door, don't bother coming back." John yelled, not really meaning it but at the time his anger seemed appropriate._

"_That's what I've wanted for my entire life, Dad! This life is not for me! Moving from school to school? I'm amazed I actually passed and made it into Stanford, this is the best thing that's ever happened to me, why can't you accept it?" _

_John just walked away from his son, who continued to grab his duffle and plane tickets he had purchased without the knowledge of his father or brother._

"_I'll be gone before you miss me." Sam yelled as he turned around, realizing for the first time that Dean had returned from grabbing dinner._

_Dean dropped the bags of food he was carrying and he turned on his heels, walking out of the room, not really sure where he was going but 'Away' seemed appropriate at a time like this._

"_Dean!" Sam yelled, immediately wondering how much his brother had heard?_

_Sam ran as quickly as he could to catch up with his older brother, "Dean!" he yelled again as he finally caught up. _

_Dean was sitting in the Impala, just starting the engine._

"_Where are you going, Dean?" Sam asked him, hoping for a chance to explain before his taxi arrived._

"_Oh, don't worry, I'll think of a place." Dean told him through clenched teeth, "Contrary to popular belief, my mind is my own," he finished as he slammed his baby in reverse and roared out of the parking lot._

* * *

That was the last time Sam has spoken to his brother and he desperately hoped that he was forgiven.

He hoped Dean would realize that he didn't mean those words, they were said in a time of anger.

Sam didn't even realize he was close to West Point until he saw the sign on the left that read 'Next Exit: West Point, 2 Miles'.

"Thank God," he thought aloud, the sooner he could get to his brother, the better.

He had to tell Dean he was sorry. If Dean had…

Sam didn't allow himself to think beyond that, that his big brother was dead.

It wasn't possible. Dean was there for him, _always. _

He couldn't imagine not having Dean around. The last few months had been hard without Dean but Sam had always known that his brother was okay from calls with Bobby and Caleb.

In recent months things had gotten hectic for Sam and Bobby had stopped expecting his calls.

But when Sam called the older man, he heard Bobby break down in tears as he told him about Dean.

Bobby had told Sam that Jim, Caleb, and Mackland had just finished a local hunt and were at his house for some beers before going their separate ways. But with everything that'd happened they all agreed that they needed to get their asses to New York.

Sitting on the plane as it took off, Sam had only one thought, "_Please hang on Dean." _

* * *

*Reviews = LOVE! I'm trying to be sensitive with this ENTIRE story and get my facts straight so please correct me if I've done something wrong or not to your satisfaction! And Thank you So Much to Merisha for being my beta!


	3. Chapter 3

**Never Forget **

**Synopsis**: Pre-series. Dean and John are working separate hunts in New York when the unthinkable happens. It wasn't supposed to happen like this; it was supposed to be an easy hunt.

**Setting: **This story is set mutually in Palo Alto California; but mainly in NYC on September 11th 2001. Pre-series.

**Disclaimer: **Supernatural and all of their associated content belong to Eric Kripke and the CW, I own nothing of the sort.

**A/N: **This may contain some material that some readers find sensitive and it is pre-series AU. Sam is now in the same time zone as Dean and John for the rest of the story! **This chapter will contain some "AU" insight from inside the Tower from Dean's perspective so please be warned that the information will be inaccurate and possibly disturbing. Discretion advised!**Reviews Appreciated!

"America is not like a blanket -- one piece of unbroken cloth, the same color, the same texture, the same size. America is more like a quilt -- many patches, many pieces, many colors, many sizes, all woven and held together by a common thread." --Henry M. Jackson

* * *

"_What the hell was __that?" __Yelled Stoker as a resounding crash sounded throughout the corridors. _

"_It sounded like hells doors just opened up!" Dean yelled back as all of the crew members ran for cover._

"_What the hell is goin' on in here Cap?" asked Lopez._

_So many men, so many questions and the captain, though he hated to admit i__t,__ had no answers._

"_I don't know men, make for the quickest exit and clear out all of the rooms!" he ordered._

_The __group __quickly ran off to clear out the rooms __as instructed__ and once Dean was sure that the hallway was clear he took out his cell phone and held #2 Speed dial down, he had to get in touch with his dad._

_As the phone began to ring he heard his CB radio crackle to life as it announced immediate evacuation of all buildings and then something about a plane striking the building._

"_What the hell?" Dean __frowned__…__'this__ isn't right…someone seriously needs to work on their piloting __skills.'__ he thought, __sure that__ it was just a terrible mistake._

_His dad's voice came over the line as he struggled to make it into the hallway from the room he had entered._

"_Dean?" his dad asked._

'_S__hit it's loud in here__!'__ he thought as he heard the structure begin to groan and creak._

"_Dad???" he yelled, hoping his father could hear him._

"_What is it Dean?" his father asked, sounding as panicked as Dean felt._

"_Don't…__D__ad….news….radio…said…" He tried to relay the message to his father but the static made it almost impossible to understand what he was saying._

_Dean could almost picture his father as he heard him standing up and moving about the room, he tried to repeat what he had said._

"_L__oud, __D__ad…falling…plane….news…" Dean tried to relay the message again but to no avail. _

_He just hoped that for the time being his father had gotten the message. _

_Dean had the wind knocked out of __him, thrown onto his back, as he the __floor beneath his feet lurched._

_He couldn't help the groan of pain that escaped him as he tried to stand again._

"_Oh this is so not good!" he thought aloud._

_He heard his dad's voice calling to him on the phone and he knew that something truly bad had happened from the __desperate__ tone. _

_Unsure if this was one hunt he'd not be making it out of alive, Dean struggled to relay one final message to his father, "Dad?" he gasped, "Love…you." _

_The floor beneath him gave way __once more__ and he struggled to roll away__, just managing__ to do so in the nick of time, his phone however didn't have the luck he did and it plummeted to the floor below._

_Dean struggled in vain to __get to__ his feet and began pulling himself along the floor to the corridor where the staircase was. _

_As he reached the door, he turned around one more time and glanced at the corridor he was in, he removed his air mask and yelled as loudly as he could, "Is anyone in here?" _

_When he received no response he wanted to try agai__n,__ but the thickening smoke was suffocating him and he struggled to replace his air mask as he opened the door and threw himself into the stairwell, still coughing beneath the mask._

_He stood shakily to his feet using the railings to support himself. He read the bold sign next to the door, '12__th__ Floor'. 'Just my friggin luck,' he thought._

_He rushed as quickly as he could despite the circumstances and made it to the 7__th__ floor, when the building leaned precariously to the left and then began to crumble. He was thrown off balance as his body flew down two staircases and landed in a heap at the bottom._

_

* * *

__Rodriguez got word that one of the men from his unit had yet to make it to the 3__rd__ floor so he radioed in to his captain. "Cap! I'm going back! Winchester isn't with us!" _

_Captain Stanley waved his hand in hesitant acknowledgment as he watched his man trek the stairs again. 'God speed.' he thought as he turned and continued to clear the corridors on their descent down__._

_Rodriguez found the crumpled form of his comrade at the 5__th__ floor landing. He reached down shakily for a pulse and was relieved to find on__e,__ albeit slow. _

_He glanced up at the destruction and back at the injured man. He knew the possibility of spinal injury was great if he had falle__n,__ but he also knew that he needed to get this man to safety and quick. _

_So with a quick prayer he reached down and grabbed the man's wrist, desperately trying to ignore the groan of pain that escaped the man's lips from beneath the mask. _

_He pulled Dean into a fireman's carry and quickly and cautiously made his way down the staircase. _

_On the ground floo__r,__ destruction was evident everywhere. He saw his cap and Baker standing near the exits and as soon as they caught site of him they rushed through the rubble and carefully took the man from Rodriguez. _

"_You okay?" his cap shouted over the noise. Rodriguez held up a glove in acknowledgement that he was fine._

_They carried the man as quickly as they could from the building. Once outside they laid their injured comrade on the yellow tarp about 100 yards from the building that had been set up for victims._

_The paramedics that were working on a woman too far gone for anymore hel__p,__ quickly rushed over to their ca__p.__ "What do we hav__e,__C__ap?" asked Gag__e._

"_It's Wincheste__r,"__ The cap told them. _

_DeSoto shook his head as he took the ma__n's__ vitals. "This has gotta be a wrap and g__o,__ Johnny." he told him. _

_His partner nodded his head in agreement. They removed his turn-out gear and set them __on __the ground by his feet. _

"_Support his neck." DeSoto instructed Gag__e.__ "We'll take full spinal precautions with this one." _

_His partner ran to the ambulance and grabbed the back-board and c-collar and they worked quickly to stabilize __Dean__. Once his vitals had improved enough for them both to be satisfie__d,__ they transferred him to a gurney and rushed him to the waiting ambulanc__e, also__ placing his turn-out coat over him as protection from the falling ashes __and hiding his injuries from the various intruding cameras and__ media._

'_H__eartless bastards__.'__ Gage couldn't help but think to himself as they rushed Winchester into the ambulance. _

_He had seen the news crews attempt to break through the police __barricade,__ yelling that it was their right to inform the citizens of the events. "You can do that from behind the yellow Lines." He'd heard __one__ the policemen inform the crews. _

_Yet many had not given up and had rushed right to the tarp where the non-life threatening victims were __being taken care of, and slowly being ushered away from the destruction._

_Once __Dean__ was secur__ed__ into the ambulance with Gage, DeSoto gave the customary slap on the back of the doors after they were closed, signaling the ambulance driver that it was now safe to leave._

_DeSoto rushed back over to the tarp and couldn't help but say a small prayer __for his colleague __as he watched the ambulance rush from the scene._

_

* * *

_"Does this…" she started, turning the coat to the back so they could all see, "Look like your son's Jacket?"

John could've sworn that his jaw fell clean off his face as he looked at the reflective lettering that clearly stated 'WINCHESTER' in large capital letters.

"Yes." He felt tears come to his eyes for what had to be the third time this day.

The nurse gave him a small smile as her eyes began to tear up at the father's obvious distress. "Your son is here." she told him.

"Kim," She called over her shoulder, "Take Mr. Winchester and Ms…." she trailed off, not knowing the woman with John's name.

"Ms Grace." The woman supplied.

The nurse nodded her head. "Take them to sixth floor; page Dr. Carville to meet them there immediately."

The nurse looked back at her supervisor in shock "You mean…"

"Yes," her supervisor told her, "This is the family of Winchester."

The nurse quickly took John's arm and began pulling him towards the elevator.

"Why were you talking like that?" John asked her as the doors closed.

"Talking like what?" Kim asked as she turned to face the man. "Oh…you mean why we were talking as though we all knew about your son?" she asked.

He nodded and motioned for her to continue talking.

"Sir…no one was pulled from the rubble of the South tower alive, apart from your son. He is one of the only survivors that have been found thus far."

"Oh god…" John slid down the wall with his head in his hands as he realized how close his son had come to _dying_, knowing that his son could still very well die_. _

"Sir?" The nurse asked.

"He'll be okay." Grace told the nurse as she reached down and helped John to his feet with surprising strength for an elderly woman.

"Come on dear." She told him as she led him out the now open elevator doors.

The nurse led them to the waiting room and motioned for them both to sit and wait while she went to get the doctor.

John began to gasp for breath as panic assailed him again, turning stark white as he allowed his thoughts to wander too far into the 'What If' category.

"Relax!" Grace admonished, "You're son needs you, now is not the time to show weakness."

She helped him put his head between his knees and take nice even breaths. After a few minutes he was much more relaxed.

"Thank you." he told her, he was about to continue but a man in a white coat, that John desperately hoped was Dr. Carville, was walking towards them.

"Mr. Winchester?" The doctor asked.

"Yes." John replied.

The doctor smiled and reached his hand out, "My name is Dr. Carville." he told them.

"I'm sure you have many more questions for me but let me start off by saying that your son is in stable condition."

John felt _much _better after being told that.

"Can I see him?" asked John.

"In a little while." Dr. Carville informed him.

"He is in recovery right now; the surgery was quite extensive…."

"Surgery?" John asked, "What…what are his injuries, Doc?"

"You may want to sit down for this…" The doctor told John as he initiated his own advice and sat.

John and Grace followed suit and sat down next to the doctor.

"We believe that your son may have fallen down several flights of stairs," The doctor told them. "The injuries sustained in the initial blast were quite substantial and the fall we believe to have occurred after, complicated things."

"Complicate how?" John asked, his fear intensifying as the doctor continued to pause.

"We believe the initial impact may have bruised some ribs and would explain the broken ankle. Your son has four crushed ribs, one of which punctured his left lung. We were able to surgically re-inflate the lung but he'll need to remain on the ventilator for at least another week or until the lung heals. He also has a hairline fracture on the left side of his clavicle and had a left side interior shoulder dislocation." He paused as he allowed the information to sink in.

"But Doc…" John asked, "he'll be okay, won't he?"

This was the part that the Doctor hated, the part where he had to tell the anxious father the worst of the details. "Sir, your son also had a slight tear in his spleen, we haven't had to remove it and barring any complications we won't have to, but right now we are cautiously optimistic."

"Can I…Can I see him now?" John asked.

The doctor stood up to go and check on his patients status and upon returning he told John, "You're son has been moved to his own room on the seventh floor in SICU. The room number is 1262, you can go and see him, just please remain quiet, he needs his rest."

John nodded his thanks and with Grace headed up to the seventh floor.

They decided to take the stairs, not wanting to run into anyone for the time being. Once John reached the room he hesitated.

"Go ahead." Grace told him.

John glanced at her, "I just…I…" he fumbled for the right words.

"Go." she told him, "He's your son."

John put his hand on the door to push it open but paused when he noticed that Grace turned as though she were leaving. "Wait…" he stopped her, "Aren't you going to…" he trailed off as she interrupted him.

"You've found your son." She winked. "Now other people need my help."

John turned back to the door and then looked over his shoulder. "Thanks…" the words died on his lips as he noticed she was nowhere to be seen.

He glanced down the empty hallway, distracted by Grace's strange disappearance only for a second, before his mind quickly returned to his son, steeling himself as he gripped the handle… but nothing could've prepared John for what he saw as he opened the door.

"Oh God, Dean."

* * *

*Reviews = LOVE! I'm trying to be sensitive with this ENTIRE story and get my facts straight so please correct me if I've done something wrong or not to your satisfaction! And Thank you So Much to Merisha for being my beta!


	4. Chapter 4

**Never Forget **

**Synopsis**: Pre-series. Dean and John are working separate hunts in New York when the unthinkable happens. It wasn't supposed to happen like this; it was supposed to be an easy hunt.

**Setting: **This story is set mutually in Palo Alto California; but mainly in NYC on September 11th 2001. Pre-series.

**Disclaimer: **Supernatural and all of their associated content belong to Eric Kripke and the CW, I own nothing of the sort.

**A/N: **This may contain some material that some readers find sensitive and it is pre-series AU. Sam is now in the same time zone as Dean and John for the rest of the story! **This will be confusing to some until all of the characters are together, for this I apologize. And I apologize for the delay, my beta was a little busy, but no worries here it is!**

"Now, we have inscribed a new memory alongside those others. It's a memory of tragedy and shock, of loss and mourning. But not only of loss and mourning. It's also a memory of bravery and self-sacrifice, and love that lays down its life for a friend- even a friend whose name it never knew." - President George W. Bush. December 11th 2001.

* * *

He glanced down the empty hallway, distracted by Grace's strange disappearance only for a second, before his mind quickly returned to his son, steeling himself as he gripped the handle… but nothing could've prepared John for what he saw as he opened the door.

"Oh God, Dean."

His large-as-life son was lying so still and pale on the bed. He was covered in nothing but a white, linen sheet and his chest was swathed in bandages. Almost his entire body was bruised, his neck braced and his left arm was set in a sling.

John approached the bed, wanting to touch his son in some way to establish contact, hoping Dean could sense his presence. He looked at the pale form and tried to find a spot that wasn't bruised or bandaged and finally decided to take Dean's right hand and pull it to him as he sat.

No matter how many times hunting accidents had left the Winchesters hospitalized, it was never this bad. It was never to the point of having a machine breathe for any of them.

The tubes protruding from Dean's mouth, and the machine rhythmically forcing air into his lungs, was by far the most traumatic sight of all.

He gently placed his hand on Dean's chest, needing to know that the machine was doing it's job properly.

"God, Dean." John said aloud. He put his head on the bed rail and for the first time in what felt like ages, he prayed.

"Please Dean, you've gotta fight this." He closed his eyes and placed his hand on his sons forehead. His eyes flew open as he felt just how warm his son's forehead was.

"Shit!" he swore aloud. He quickly pressed the call button and a nurse was in the room within seconds.

"What is it, Mr. Winchester?" she asked as she opened the door.

"I don't know…something's wrong," he told her "He's really warm."

The nurse walked in and quickly set about getting Dean's vitals and his temperature.

"Hmph…" she said aloud "101.2"

" That bad?" asked John

"Yeah. I'm going to go grab Doctor Carville." she informed him.

John nodded. "Okay."

The Doctor entered the room moments later with the same nurse.

He took his stethoscope off and grabbed Dean's chart, making notes as he listened to Dean's chest.

His mouth pursed with worry as he turned to the anxious father, "I'm afraid your son has contracted ventilator associated pneumonia."

"Will he be alright?" John asked.

The Doctor nodded thoughtfully. "It looks like we caught it soon enough, we'll start him on a broad-spectrum antibiotic to fight it before it gets a head start."

Before he left he turned to John, "A nurse will be in shortly to begin the course." John nodded as he turned his attention back to his son.

**

* * *

****3:03 P.M Desabo, South Dakota **

Sam glanced out the window as the small plane began it's descent into the desolate small-town airfield.

He was shocked to find Bobby, Caleb, Jim, and Mackland all standing outside of Mac's Ford Explorer, waiting for the plane to disembark.

As the plane came to a final stop within yards of the Explorer, Sam took out his wallet and handed his friend two one hundred Dollar bills.

"Here, man." Sam said, trying to give him the money.

"Nah, Sam." His friend began, "Just get to New York and take care of your brother."

"You sure?" Sam tried once more to give his friend the money.

"Sure I'm sure, Sam." his friend told him.

Sam had the gnawing feeling that he hadn't been told everything about the day's events but he brushed the feeling off and exited the plane.

"Bobby." Sam said smiling as he was immediately given a bear hug by the elder hunter.

"It's good to see ya boy." Bobby told him as he wiped the tears from his eyes.

"Bobby, what's going on?" Sam asked. "I don't think everyone has told me what's going on here."

"Sure, skip your hellos, we don't mind." Caleb announced as he, Mackland and Jim all came forward.

"Sorry." Sam told Caleb, suddenly feeling awkward.

He wondered if they all knew the true extent of his betrayal. Of what he'd told Dean that final night.

He quickly brushed all thoughts of himself aside and moved on to a more pressing issue, Dean.

"Why don't you call your father first, Samuel." Jim told him "We can get into the details of the matter later."

"Okay…" Sam said as he took his phone from his pocket.

As the call connected, Sam glanced around, he noticed that all of them, _even _Caleb, looked like they had been crying.

"What the…" he wondered as his fathers gruff voice came over the line.

"Sammy?" his Dad asked.

"Yea, Dad, it's me." Sam told him. "Did you find Dean?" he asked, not liking the tone of his father's voice.

"Yeah, Sammy, I found him." John told him.

Sam held his breath as he heard his father speak, the man sounded so _off. _He didn't sound like the mighty John Winchester, the father he'd always known.

This man sounded…so…_broken. _

"Dad, he's not…Dean's not…" Sam said as he felt tears well up in his eyes.

"No son! Oh god no, Sammy! Dean's alive." John exclaimed as he realized the conclusion Sam had come to.

"The silence is deafening Dad, and I get the feeling that I haven't been told everything."

"It's not looking too good right now son." John told him.

"What do you mean? You said…." he broke off as his father interrupted him.

"He's alive, Sammy. His injuries were pretty bad kiddo, they had to put him on the respirator, something about a collapsed lung. He has internal injuries, a broken ankle, a bad dislocation, and some of his ribs were crushed." John told him.

"Why do I stillhear a silent _'but'_ in there, Dad?" Sam asked.

"There have been some…complications." John began, "With the use of the respirator, the patient's chances of complications are greater. Dean has developed a type of pneumonia that happens with the use of the respirator. The Doctor pointed out that Dean's age is in his favor, that, and his physical shape prior to the accident."

"He obviously doesn't know Dean." Sam told him with shaky laughter, "Anything that usually can go wrong does." Sam pointed out, hoping to chase some of his own worries away and comfort his father at the same time.

'I guess you're right." John told him.

Sam was happy to hear that his Dad was actually smiling over the phone.

"Just get here soon, Sammy; I know your brother could really use you right about now." John told him.

"We should be there in about 24 hours, Dad." Sam told him "You sure Dean's the only one who could use me right about now? "

"Little wiseass," he heard his father say.

'Kid knows me too well.' John thought.

"Well if Caleb and Bobby are driving then I'll expect to see you around noon tomorrow. The Doctor doesn't expect Dean to wake up from the anesthetics any time soon, so just be safe son."

"I will, Dad, Bye."

"So kiddo, how's Dean doing?" asked Bobby.

"Not good." Was all Sam told them as the four of them piled into the Explorer.

Night had begun to descend upon them as they drove on in silence. They all felt no words were needed until they arrived in New York, at the side of their fallen friend, brother, and hunter.

Bobby turned the radio on; he didn't much like the silence in the car.

All of their thoughts were turned to the radio as soon as the broadcaster came across with a startling revelation. "We've had many callers questioning a statement from the U.S Government in regards to the terrorist attack on our nation today."

"What in god's name…." Mackland began, but was silenced with a glare from Jim.

"This was not in gods name." Jim told Mackland through gritted teeth.

"Come on guys…" Caleb started "If you don't mind, I'm stuck in this car with all of you for the next 16 hours and I don't want it to be an uncomfortable ride."

"What did he mean when he said terrorist attack?" Sam asked, oblivious to current events.

"It was a terrorist attack, Samuel." Jim told him "Two planes struck the World Trade Centers, another plane struck the Pentagon, and another plane crashed into a field."

"Why would someone do this?" asked Sam

The announcer then came across; issuing a statement from his offices in what they all hoped was a good explanation of the events of the day.

"_Some men decided that they didn't like what America stands for: freedom, liberty, and the rights of men and women of all races, backgrounds, and beliefs. So this morning they hijacked four planes and attacked America in a terrible way. Two of the airplanes were crashed into the World Trade Center in New York City. The third plane was crashed into the Pentagon in Washington, D.C. The last plane was going to crash into another building in Washington, D.C., but the passengers stopped the hijackers, and the plane crashed into a field instead. _

_  
Thousands of people lost their lives through these attacks today. Hundreds of people were on the planes. Thousands died in the buildings that were hit by those planes. _

_The men that orchestrated this terrible attack, want Americans to feel afraid and disorganized. They want to make people who live in this country do what they say with unprecedented acts of terror. _

_The people of the United States are a strong group of people. Keep faith in who you are and what our country stands for and we will become even stronger than before."_

By the time the announcer was through, all of the men in the car were lost in their own thoughts.

"It's so unconceivable to me that Dean could be caught in the middle of this." Sam finally spoke aloud.

"I know son." Mackland told him as he put his arm around Sam's shoulders.

"But Mac, Dean was, he was…just on a hunt…doing his job…it's so…I'm sorry." Sam broke off as he felt his shoulders start to heave as he sobbed. He put his head into the crook of Mac's neck as the older man rubbed his back in a soothing gesture.

"You've nothing to be sorry for, Sam." Mac told him, "None of this was Dean's fault or yours."

"I know…" Sam hiccupped "But the things I said too him, about him…it's just so unfair. If he doesn't make it I don't know what I'll do. I have to make things right."

"And you will." Jim told him from his other side "Your brothers a fighter Samuel, you know that as well as anyone else."

"Yea little man.." Caleb began "Your brother would never let a couple of buildings take him down."

Sam coughed as he smiled, "I guess you're right." He wiped his nose on his sleeve feeling a lot more like a seven year old than an eighteen year old college student.

Throughout the night, speed limits were broken as the car careened towards New York.

Caleb and Bobby both wondered where the cops were on this night as they passed one Speed Limit sign to the next announcing "50 MPH" but they then glanced at the speedometer and realized theirs said "82" at one stop.

They switched spots every couple of hours, until at last dawn broke through the trees.

Jim, Mackland, and Sammy had fallen asleep in the backseat during the night and were unaware at the speed limits being broken to get them to Dean.

After what seemed like forever, Caleb glanced up and saw the sign in the distance 'New York City, City Limits'.

* * *

*Reviews = LOVE! I'm trying to be sensitive with this ENTIRE story and get my facts straight so please correct me if I've done something wrong or not to your satisfaction! And Thank you So Much to Merisha for being my beta!


	5. Chapter 5

Never Forget

**Synopsis**: Pre-series. Dean and John are working separate hunts in New York when the unthinkable happens. It wasn't supposed to happen like this; it was supposed to be an easy hunt.

**Setting: **This story is set in NYC on September 11th 2001, is was also set in Palo Alto, but is not any longer. Pre-series.

**Disclaimer: **Supernatural and all of their associated content belong to Eric Kripke and the CW, I own nothing of the sort.

**A/N: **This may contain some material that some readers find sensitive and it is pre-series AU. Sam is now in the same time zone as Dean and John for the rest of the story! **This chapter will be a little confusing or at least it was to me! LOL! And this chapter was not beta-d because Mish has been a little busy so all mistakes are my own, I just didn't want to hold yall up!**

"Today, we gather to be reassured that God hears the lamenting and bitter weeping of Mother America because so many of her children are no more. Let us now seek that assurance in prayer for the healing of our grief stricken hearts, for the souls and sacred memory of those who have been lost. Let us also pray for divine wisdom as our leaders consider the necessary actions for national security, wisdom of the **grace** of God that as we act, we not become the evil we deplore."- Rev. Nathan Baxter, Dean of Washington National Cathedral.

* * *

After what seemed like forever, Caleb glanced up and saw the sign in the distance 'New York City, City Limits'.

He looked further out through the glass and saw heavy smoke billowing from what he assumed was the site of the attacks.

"Guys." he said, turning around to shake his fathers knee.

"Whatsit?" Sam asked as he sat forward wiping his eyes.

"We're here." Caleb told them as they began to rouse.

He continued to drive through the streets, struggling to find ways through the traffic.

"How far is the hospital from here?" Sam asked, hoping Caleb would have some idea.

"According to these directions, we've only got about 2 miles to go, but in this traffic I'm not sure kiddo." Caleb told him, wishing he'd had better news.

The smoke was billowing at such a high rate that Sam was sure it must be showing in space.

The car inched forward little by little and the tension in the car was audible though no one spoke.

"How far now?" Sam asked Caleb for what had to be the fifth time.

"About half a mile to go Sam." Caleb told him.

"Damnit I'm not waiting!" Sam shouted as he through his door open and bolted through the traffic, trying to find his way to the side walk.

Caleb quickly unbuckled and turned to face the other men, "I'll go after him, we'll meet you guys there."

Bobby then moved to the drivers seat and Caleb took off after Sam.

Though Sam had longer legs, he'd been out of practice for almost 8 months and Caleb was able to easily catch up to him.

They both continued to sprint to the hospital at the same pace.

Once they arrived Sam couldn't believe his eyes when he saw the waiting room.

His face mirrored his fathers when he had seen the masses of people earlier in the day.

People were huddled together in small groups, some holding cups of coffee and others were holding small children.

Though Sam wanted to see his brother he couldn't help but be drawn to all of the "Missing" posters plastered onto the walls.

He and Caleb walked row by row in silence as they read the names of the missing.

Sam felt his heart break as he stopped to read one of the posters:

_We are seeking information on Christian Regenhard, a NYC firefighter who responded to the World Trade Center with Engine Company 279 out of Red Hook, Brooklyn._

_Christian is 28 years old, about 5 feet 8 inches with short brown hair and blue eyes. He has a large tattoo on his right arm of an eagle with a red, white, and blue American flag with USMC for United States Marine Corps. _

_Another firefighter at the scene said he saw Christian helping an injured firefighter. He may be trapped in the first Tower collapse. _

_We are hoping that he may be in a hospital somewhere or that he is still alive but trapped in the debris. _

Caleb noticed Sam begin to tear up and put his around the younger man's shoulders.

"You okay Sammy?" he asked.

Sam shook his head "I just…I know so many people lost their family but I can't feel anything other than relief that it's not Dean. I feel so guilty."

"You have nothing to feel guilty about, but let's get upstairs and see that thick-headed brother of yours, he's going to need help with all of this Sam, especially your dad." Caleb said.

Sam acquiesced and turned around. Giving the hopeful people in the waiting room a small smile as he nodded. The walked to the front desk with leaden feet and as they approached the front desk a form was shoved at them.

"Fill this out and turn it into us, we'll keep an eye out for your loved one." a nurse told them.

"We already know he's here." Caleb told her, and she looked up at him, really seeing the men in front of her for the first time.

They both looked absolutely terrible, as though they hadn't slept in days.

"What's the name?" she asked them as she moved to one of the computers.

"Dean Winchester." Sam told her, hoping that his brother _had _used his real name.

She typed in some information and then turned to them, "Seventh floor, room 1262." They nodded and thanked her.

Before they left she turned to them and gave them a sad smile, "Good Luck."

By now, Mackland, Jim, and Bobby were all walking in the front doors of the hospital.

It was hard for the people waiting not to look at these scruffy men like they had three heads. Bobby was covered in oil and was a few days behind schedule of shaving, the pastor was in his 'Sunday Best' and Mackland was wearing his white coat.

It was quite obvious that they had all left what they were doing to be here. They saw the backs of Caleb and Sam as they were walking towards the elevator.

"Boys" Bobby called out "Wait up."

* * *

They stood together on the elevator, all with hope in their hearts that their fallen friend would be okay.

Once they arrived to the seventh floor they were stopped in the hallway by a man in a white coat.

"Can I help you gentlemen?" The Doctor asked them.

"We're looking for my brother," Sam told him "His name is Dean Winchester."

"Your brother is a patient of mine." The man told them "My name is Doctor Carville." he extended his hand out and Mackland had the grace to shake it.

"My name is Mackland Ames." Mack told him, "I'm a neurosurgeon back west, Dean is my nephew."

"Are you all family?" The doctor asked.

They all nodded.

"Usually I limit the visitors to two patients per room in SICU but because of the events and the situation surrounding Mr. Winchester, I'll allow you all to see him."

They proceeded to follow the Doctor down the hallway as he continued to speak.

"For obvious reasons I will need you all to wear PPE." he told them as he opened the door to the supply closet.

"You want me to wear 'pee pee' what?" Bobby asked in alarm.

"It's personal protection equipment, Bobby." Mack told him "It'll prevent us from spreading our germs to Dean."

They quickly put on the gloves, the gowns, and the facemasks.

The doctor allowed Bobby to take a pair of scrubs into the locker to change, because of all of the grease on his street clothes.

They entered the room with bated breath and found John asleep in the chair, one hand was holding Dean's and the other was hanging loosely at his side.

"Dad?" Sam asked quietly.

John sat forward with a start. "Sammy?" he asked.

When he caught site of his youngest he stood up with tears in his eyes and gave Sam one of the hardest hugs he'd ever received in his life.

"It's good to see you son." He told him through gritted teeth.

"God Dean." Sam said when he caught site of his brother.

He watched as his brothers chest rose and fell rhythmically in synch with the machine.

He sat in the chair his father had vacated and looked at his chick-chasing-girl-stealing brother and couldn't believe it was him laying there so pale and lifeless beneath the sheets.

He held his brothers hand as his father had moments before.

"Can you hear me Dean?" he asked, he could've sworn he felt Dean squeeze his hand.

"Dean?" he asked again.

His brother sat forward so quickly, everyone in the room was shocked.

Mack's medical instincts turned on and he quickly ran to the middle Winchester's bedside.

"Easy Dean." he told him as he put his hand on the boys chest, gently but firmly pushing him back.

Dean's eyes went wide as he gagged on the ventilator tube.

"Dean…" Mack began but was cut off as Dean began to violently struggle and try to get off of the bed.

"DEAN!" Sam yelled. Dean calmed his struggles when he heard his brothers voice so clearly.

"It's breathing for you Dean, let it do it's job please." Sam told him as he quickly pushed Mack aside a bit.

Dean's eyes began to tear up as he saw his little brother and felt him holding his hand.

His mouth moved around the tube, trying in vain to speak to his little brother.

No one could hear what was said as Dean tried to speak but they all knew what word it formed. "Sammy."

"I'm here Dean, and I'm not going anywhere." Sam promised as he squeezed his brothers hand back.

By this time Doctor Carville had entered the room, and stood off to the side, allowing the young man to continue to console his brother.

When Dean had calmed down enough to let the machine breathe for him, and his eyes showed that he was clearly alert the doctor stepped forward and worked around Sammy as he took Dean's vitals.

"His vitals are strong." The Doctor told them. "I'd like his oxygen levels to be higher but everything else looks good."

"Do you know what happened Dean?" Dr. Carville asked, not wanting to but needing to know if the man remembered the previous days events.

Dean closed his eyes and nodded around the tube. It was obvious to everyone that he did remember what happened.

The doctor began checking Dean's reflexes and when he reached Dean's legs he carefully used his pen to tap Dean's knee.

When he received no response he became mildly alarmed but he tried to keep it from his face.

"Dean." he began "Did you feel that?"

It was obvious from the look on the young man's face at that moment that he hadn't felt the tap.

The doctor moved to Dean's foot and tickled the bottom with the pen.

He again received no response.

The other men in the room had been alarmed when they realized what the doctor meant by the various tests he was running.

The doctor felt around Dean's hips and pushed on certain areas and was relieved to find that the boy could feel his hips being moved and his ribs were obviously causing him some physical distress.

"Don't worry about it son, I'm sure it's only temporary." the Doctor told him, hoping to calm everyone's nerves a little.

"I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask everyone to leave the room for a moment." the doctor told them. "I have to run a few tests."

No one argued with the doctor, they knew he was only doing what was in Dean's best interest.

"Except you." he pointed to Sam who was still holding Dean's hand. "You stay, it seems to be keeping him calm."

The others walked to the waiting room with heavy hearts, hoping that everything would turn out right.

While they waited, they noticed their was a television in the corner and they turned it on. Deciding that they needed to listen to something other than silence.

The newscaster was doing a live broadcast from the scene and they were showing pictures of the 'Missing'.

John paid attention to one name and picture in particular when the names were called.

"We are saddened to announce that we have two more victims to add to the death toll of today's events, they are a mother and son Mrs. Grace Catherine Galante and son Vincent Joseph Galante."

John grabbed the remote and hit the DVR freeze button on the woman's face as they showed the smiling face, a face that he had come to recognize as his angel. It was Grace.

* * *

Doctor Carville who had just finished the exams and walked into the waiting room to tell the family the news. He wasn't happy he'd have to tell them _this _after everything that had happened. It was the last thing any of them needed to worry about.

* * *

*Reviews = LOVE! I'm trying to be sensitive with this ENTIRE story and get my facts straight so please correct me if I've done something wrong or not to your satisfaction! And Thank you So Much to Merisha for being my beta!


	6. Chapter 6

**Never Forget **

**Synopsis**: Pre-series. Dean and John are working separate hunts in New York when the unthinkable happens. It wasn't supposed to happen like this; it was supposed to be an easy hunt.

**Setting: **This story is set in NYC on September 11th 2001, is was also set in Palo Alto, but is not any longer. Pre-series.

**Disclaimer: **Supernatural and all of their associated content belong to Eric Kripke and the CW, I own nothing of the sort.

**A/N: **This may contain some material that some readers find sensitive and it is pre-series AU. Sam is now in the same time zone as Dean and John for the rest of the story! I have nothing against people of the Muslim religion nor your personal beliefs. I have a new beta so I'd like to thank her as well!

"But now we have a choice: whether to implode and disintegrate emotionally and spiritually as a people and a nation -- or, whether we choose to become stronger through all of this struggle -- to rebuild on a solid foundation. And I believe we are in the process of starting to rebuild on that foundation. That foundation is our trust in God." ~ Billy Graham

* * *

Upon finishing his examinations Doctor Carville walked into the waiting room to tell the family the news. He glanced around at the anxious men and would _not _be happy to tell them this.

After everything that had happened, he knew this was the last thing any of them needed.

He approached the anxious men and followed their attention to the screen they were all staring so intently at.

When he realized whose face was on the screen he blanched. "Mr. Winchester?" he called out, momentarily forgetting the image.

"Yes?" John asked, immediately turning his attention to the doctor, hoping for more news about his son.

The doctor momentarily ignored the photo on the screen as he turned to address them.

"I've got both good news and bad news for you Mr. Winchester." The doctor informed them.

John waited a beat for the doctor to continue, but he realized that the doctor was giving him an option to hear one piece of news over the other.

"Just give it to me straight doc." John told him as the other men gathered behind him to offer whatever support they could.

"I've ran several tests with your son, it appears he has some minor post-surgery swelling on the fifth vertebrae in his spine." he told them.

He continued as he heard the quick intake of breath from John, "We are 99.9% sure that the swelling is only temporary and should go down throughout the night. His other injuries are healing quite nicely and the only thing that still concerns me at the moment aside from the spinal trauma is his temperature. Despite the antibiotics he is still running a pretty high fever."

"Can I go back in with him now?" John asked.

"Of course." he began "Just please take it easy if he wakes up, be gentle and reassure him that everything is okay. At this time we're not sure what he remembers so don't push it on him." he warned John before turning to the others.

"I'm afraid that I will have to limit his visitors for tonight to two people in his room, so…" he glanced at his watch "In about 45 minutes I'll need to know which two of you will be staying with him for the night."

"That won't be a problem doc." John told him as he and the others quickly made their way to Dean's room.

When the reached the room they found Sam sitting in the same chair that he'd vacated earlier, and he was holding his brother's hand. It was obvious to all that the tests had exhausted Dean and he was sleeping quite soundly.

The only visible traces of illness on him were the very rosy red cheeks.

Sam put a hand to his lips as if to silence the men before they started to speak.

"He just fell asleep a minute ago." Sam explained "They really want him to get his rest."

The men nodded their heads and quietly stood around the room.

Mackland had a phonebook on his lap and was going through the available hotels in the area with his cell phone.

He located a Hilton hotel just 2 miles away and called to see what their availability for the night would be.

The woman on the phone told him that the only room they had available for the night was a 2 bedroom suite on the imperial level.

He quickly decided without acknowledging the others that he would foot the bill for however long they'd be staying, it was the least he felt he could do at a time like this.

"I'll take it." he told her.

"_How long will you be staying sir? And how many guests will be accompanying you?" she asked._

"At least two weeks, and with me there will be.." he paused to count the men with him and knew to leave two out because they would always have the two with Dean "Four men." he told her.

"_Okay sir, we have the room reserved in your name and check in is available at your discrepancy tonight." she informed him._

"Thank you kindly ma'am." He thanked her as he hung up the phone.

He glanced at his watch to see how much time had passed since they'd arrived and was shocked to see that it was 4:57 P.M.

"Okay guys, I've booked us a suite for the night so lets head on out and give John and Sam some time with Dean."

After saying their goodbyes and goodnights to John and Sam the five men headed out.

"Sam…" John began.

"Don't dad." Sam told him, knowing the guilt trip his father was most likely in.

"We've had our disagreements, and our fight was big yes and the words were hurtful but we have to move on from that, we can't always live in the past." Sam pushed, hoping his words were getting through to his thick-headed father.

"I was just going to say why don't you get some sleep kiddo." John told him, laughing lightly "But if that makes you feel better then I guess I have to agree with you."

Sam nodded, a little weirded out by the way his father was acting.

"But seriously kiddo, you look like shit."

"Wow thanks dad." Sam rolled his eyes. "And have you seen _yourself _lately? You can't look much better than I do."

"No I probably don't but we'll take shifts that way one of us is always awake for Dean and I'm taking first shift." John tried to reason.

"Okay dad." Sam told him. "I guess a small nap can't hurt."

Sam stood up and stretched out of his hoodie, laying it on a chair before heading to the empty bed across the room from Dean's.

John chuckled to himself as ten minutes later he heard soft snores emerging from the bed where his youngest lay. "Not tired my ass." John smiled as he stood, knees popping in protest and walked over to his youngest and threw the small blanket on the bed over him.

As he walked back over to Dean a nurse came in the room, startled by John's presence she nearly dropped what she was carrying.

"Shit!" she exclaimed as she quickly struggled to regain her balance.

John quickly grabbed her elbow to steady her and then reached back down to pick-up the pen she had dropped.

"Thanks." She told him "Sorry for my little freak-out, you just startled me."

"No problem." John told her as he looked at the things she was carrying.

A bag and a tube.

She followed his eyes and knew what he was looking at. "This will be dinner for your son tonight." She told him. "Because of the respirator it has to be done VIA naso-gastric tubing, it's not the most pleasant thing in the world but it'll ensure that he gets his food properly."

John nodded as she set about her task of wiring the tubing down his son's nose.

John watched in amazement as Dean slept through nearly the entire feeding process. It wasn't until the nurse had to wake Dean for his neuro check that he became fully conscious.

"Nnn.." he struggled as his eyes shot open, this time Sam was sleeping so John quickly put his head in Dean's line of vision and tried to calm his son down.

"Shhh Dean…" John told him "I know it's uncomfortable but you need to relax son and let the nurse do her job."

Dean glanced at the petite nurse standing wide-eyed at the side of the bed cradling her jaw where Dean's hand had gone rogue.

Dean immediately calmed down and his apology shined brightly in his tear-filled eyes. Before anyone in the room knew what had happened Dean began to sob.

"Dean?" Sam yelled as he struggled out of bed upon hearing his brothers distress.

"What's the matter hon?" the nurse asked as she pressed the call button, hoping the doctor would be on his way.

Dean weakly tried to point to something so the nurse moved closer and Dean very gently pointed to the area on her jaw where the skin was rapidly turning red.

"Oh hon!" she exclaimed "It's perfectly fine! Believe me my ex knocked me around more than one little bruise."

At her words Dean seemed to calm down and when the doctor entered the room he took Sam and John to the side.

"Is he normally an emotional person?" Doctor Carville asked.

"Not at all." John began "He's usually one to down-play things until the last possible second and crying is something I honestly can't remember him ever doing in the last 10 years."

The doctor nodded as he took in the information the family was giving him.

"Do you think it's possible he's having issues with what happened?" Sam asked.

"I don't think so." The doctor told him "According to most of our initial reports your son was unconscious when he was found and wasn't conscious until he arrived here so it's highly unlikely he knows much of what happened beyond what he remembers."

"Then what could be causing it doc?" John asked.

"I'm afraid his fever is holding steady at 103.5 and it's causing him to feel vulnerable and emotionally strained."

"What can we do for him in the meantime doc?" John asked.

"We'll be starting cooling measures for your son and though I'm not happy to be doing it I'm going to give him a light sedative to ensure he sleeps through the night." as he finished his statement he saw that two of his other nurses had entered the room with the cool cloths and the cooling blanket.

As Dean's blanket was pulled away to be replaced with the cooling blanket his fingers grasped the thread weakly but his grasp on the blanket was quickly replaced by his father and his brother's hands.

"I know it feels like you're cold son but it's just the fever, this will help you okay?" John told him.

Dean weakly nodded his head and watch wearily as the doctor walked over to his IV and inserted the sedative.

Dean raised his eyebrows questioningly to Sam and smiled slightly when Sam laughed and told him " The good stuff."

Both Sam and John stayed with Dean until eleven when John ordered Sam into bed again.

"You promise me you'll wake me when he wakes up?" Sam asked for the millionth time.

"I promise son." John told him "Now to bed!"

Sam settled into bed for the second time and John walked to the doorway, planning on grabbing a cup of coffee.

He had no more stepped out of the room before he was approached by doctor Carville.

"Mr. Winchester…" He began "Do you mind if we speak for a moment?"

"Not at all," John told him "I just don't want to be far from my sons' room."

"Well Mr. Winchester, I just can't get over an image I saw you were all watching on television earlier about a Ms. Grace Galante? Wasn't this woman here earlier with you?"

John sighed as he ran a weary hand over his face. "About that…Why don't you follow me and I can explain things to you."

He grabbed his coffee and made his way back to Dean's room.

"You see doctor Carville…" He began but was interrupted when doctor Carville began speaking "Please just call me Jim."

"Okay well Jim…there are these things that not everyone can explain and as far as I can tell…"

And in another room in the hospital both Dean and Sam Winchester slept while thousands of families around the world wept.

* * *

*Reviews = LOVE! I'm trying to be sensitive with this ENTIRE story and get my facts straight so please correct me if I've done something wrong or not to your satisfaction! And Thank you So Much to my new beta! And this was a good place to finish this chapter because of the holidays.


	7. Chapter 7

**Never Forget**

**Synopsis**: Pre-series. Dean and John are working separate hunts in New York when the unthinkable happens. It wasn't supposed to happen like this; it was supposed to be an easy hunt.

**Setting: **This story is set in NYC on September 11th 2001, is was also set in Palo Alto, but is not any longer. Pre-series.

**Disclaimer: **Supernatural and all of their associated content belong to Eric Kripke and the CW, I own nothing of the sort.

**A/N: **This may contain some material that some readers find sensitive and it is pre-series AU. Sam is now in the same time zone as Dean and John for the rest of the story . I have no beta at this date in time so all mistakes are mine ;) ! I typed this enire chapter on my cell phone unfortunately so excuse typos and grammar issues! I'm going to Haiti with some other nurses to help out in the effort so exuse my absence! **Re-Posted for corrections. ;) Reviews make the chapters come quicker. **

"Incorrigible, intolerant, unwilling, non-excepting, are all words in the English language that we as Americans are blessed to understand. But many around the world who've not heard our true voices will stand corrected when America rises from the ashes and fights back for freedom, justice, peace, and most of all the security of our and all other nations of the world." Courtney VanDeusen

* * *

_12:31 A.M September 13th__ 2001 _

John ran a weary hand over his face as he thought back to his conversation with Jim.

The doctor had been surprisingly accepting of the idea of paranormal things existing and John was again surprised when Jim told him not to worry about Dean's lack of insurance.

He'd simply told John that he would "Take care of it." And John though proud he was, wasn't going to question the mans intentions.

"Regardless of what he came to the city for, your son entered a simple man wanting to help some stock brokers but when he leaves the city he will leave a hero." Jim had told him, John had simply smiled and agreed. He knew the man was right.

'_Well guess it's time to wake Sammy.' John thought glancing at his watch, 'I'm beat.'_

"Sammy?" John asked as he approached his youngest and put a gentle hand on his shoulder to shake him awake.

Sam jumped up as though he'd been expecting the touch.

"Dad?" Sam asked through half lidded eyes "Dean okay?"

John chuckled as he took in the sight of his youngest, drool dribbling down one corner of his chin, and his hair an absolute mess from the pillow.

"He's resting just fine son." John told him "I figured we'd switch places now, I feel like a nap would do me a world of good right about now."

"Kay" Sam agreed as he stood and stretched his arms out groaning as his muscles protested the way he'd been sleeping.

"Getting old there Sammy." John joked lightly.

"Ya but at least I still have the hair from your 20's versus your peppered locks!" Sam shot back, enjoying the momentary peace with his father.

They both stood around awkwardly until Sam sat himself in the chair next to Dean's bed and picked up his fragile brothers hand.

John spared Sam one hopeful glance before he settled himself into the empty bed.

He gently stroked his thumb over Dean's knuckles in small circles while he watched his father fall into a peaceful sleep.

"Wanna know something Dean?" Sam asked his sleeping brother "I hope you already know this but I didn't mean anything I said when I left." he broke off as he felt tears come to his eyes.

"I was just…angry and I had to get my anger out some way so I took it out on the one person in the world that didn't deserve it. I took it out on you Dean and I'm so sorry for that." he continued "I love you Dean and I need you to fight this infection and get better. You need to seriously kick my ass so I stop feeling so guilty."

Sam felt better telling Dean this and thought it was good preparation for telling Dean all of it when he was awake.

"I have so many memories with you Dean and thankfully more good then bad. You were always there for me big brother, and now it's my turn. I even managed to have a conversation with dad without tearing his head off or vice versa. It was actually kind of nice."

Sam tried to think of a memory he could share with his sleeping brother that would bring him pleasant dreams. He sincerely hoped Dean didn't remember much of what'd happened on the eleventh. He could only imagine from what he'd seen on the television and heard on the radio that it was death, and destruction.

A memory then came to him, it wasn't a memory that at the time he was old enough to remember properly but it was a memory that he knew Dean was very fond of as he had often told him through the years.

_

* * *

__John sat on the couch of Missouri Mosely, a kind woman that had been there for them in the aftermath of their mothers death._

_Missouri had run to the store to pick-up some formula for Sammy and a new set of sheets for Dean._

_In his arms, John held the two remaining most precious things in his life: his boys._

_He stared at the glowing fire in the fireplace as he listened to the gentle breaths of his baby boy and he felt the occasional shudder go through the body of his toddler, Dean. _

_It'd been three days since his Mary was taken from him and he had yet to get Dean to speak to him. _

_As he continued to stare at the fire, his attention was drawn away from it by a gentle yet noticeable tug on his shirt._

_He looked down and saw his four year olds' emerald green eyes- Mary's green eyes- starting at him. "Daddy?" the gentle voice came._

_John was no idiot, he knew he needed to talk with his son and keep the conversation going. "What is it buddy?" he kept his voice soft, knowing that his son needed him._

"_When's mommy comin' home?" he asked with more hope than a four year old should have in his tiny voice._

_John stalled as he tried to think of a way to explain to his large-as-life son that his mommy wouldn't be coming home. That she had a new home._

"_Well buddy…your mommy has a new home." He began, but was interrupted by a tear filled voice "But doesn't she love me daddy? Sammy too? Why would she leave our home daddy? Mommy was happy she said so." _

"_Buddy…Dean-o…Mommy didn't want to leave but the angels in heaven decided that…that they needed another angel in the sky to watch over and protect you and Sammy." John told him._

"_Oh…" The four year old now looked deep in thought "Like mommy told me before I went to sleep? Angels are watching over me?" _

"_Ya bud, just like that." John smiled "But you have to know Dean and when Sammy's older you and I have to let him know that mommy loved you, that she loved both of you."_

"_And now she's in heaven watchin' over all of us?" Dean asked _

_John just nodded his head and continued to rock his two young sons, knowing as he faced the fire that this night was one of many sleepless nights to come but so help him god, he would get the son of a bitch that did this to his Mary. No matter what the cost._

* * *

Sam shook his head as he glanced at his watch and realized nearly an hour had passed since his father and he had switched places. He then looked up to Dean and was shocked to find two bloodshot, tired, but very alert eyes watching him.

"Dean?" Sam asked, forgetting that Dean couldn't speak with the tube down his throat but he knew that Dean could understand him, his brothers eyes showed him that.

"How long have you been listening?" Sam wondered aloud.

Dean just lay their silently, unable to communicate with his brother more than squeezing his hand and blinking.

Sam watched as Dean struggled to move sideways, in a desperate attempt to make room on the small bed for his brother.

Sam continued to watch his brothers leg move…it then caught his attention. His leg moved!

"Dean!" Sam said aloud "Your legs moved.

Dean gave Sam his no-shit-Sherlock look and gently hit his brothers thigh.

"Dean this is…amazing I have too…" Sam struggled to find the right words " I gotta get the doctor and dad up this is…" He was stopped in the middle of his rant by a desperate look from Dean.

His brother was squeezing his hand so hard he could've sworn he felt the bones crunching.

"What is it Dean?" Sam asked him, hating that they couldn't communicate normally.

He stood there, with his injured brother clenching his hand and for the first time in his life he felt completely and utterly helpless.

* * *

Dean woke up to his brothers babbling but he kept his eyes shut, he enjoyed listening to what his brother was saying. And he wanted to desperately yell out "Of course I forgive you Sammy" but he was afraid that if he interrupted him than he would stop talking.

That was the _last _thing Dean wanted. He wanted- no - needed to hear his brother talk. It'd been far too long.

He listened with interest as Sam told him a story Dean had told him many times about the night their dad had explained their mothers death to him, on the night Dean had broken his silence.

After Sam stopped talking, memories flooded back to Dean. The names Baker, Stoker, Lopez, and Rodriguez all came to mind. And he remembered the hunt and the sudden explosion he'd heard. And he'd remembered the heat he felt and the intense smoke and ashes falling and falling…and he remembered the stairs and then…nothing.

He wanted to know what had happened and why Sammy was here all the way from California but it was impossible to talk with this god-forsaken tube down his throat.

He did the only thing he could think of and started pointing to his various areas of pain and hoped that Sammy got the point.

It must've worked because he stopped babbling and looked pointedly at Dean.

If he'd been able Dean would've laughed at Sammy's deer-caught-in the headlights-look.

"Your injuries?" Sammy questioned "You want to know what happened?"

Dean nodded his head vigorously.

"Ummm Dean…." Sam stopped unsure of what he should tell his brother "I think this should wait…"

John who'd been starting to wake heard his son talking. "What should wait Sam?" he asked

Sam turned to his father with fear in his eyes "Dean wants to know what happened."

* * *

Reviews = LOVE! I'm trying to be sensitive with this ENTIRE story and get my facts straight so please correct me if I've done something wrong or not to your satisfaction! Review and this is back on track!


	8. Chapter 8

**Never Forget**

**Reviews = Faster Updates.**

**Synopsis**: Pre-series. Dean and John are working separate hunts in New York when the unthinkable happens. It wasn't supposed to happen like this; it was supposed to be an easy hunt.

**Setting: **This story is set in NYC on September 11th 2001, is was also set in Palo Alto, but is not any longer. Pre-series.

**Disclaimer: **Supernatural and all of their associated content belong to Eric Kripke and the CW, I own nothing of the sort.

**A/N: **This may contain some material that some readers find sensitive and it is pre-series AU. Sam is now in the same time zone as Dean and John for the rest of the story . I have no beta at this date in time so all mistakes are mine ;) ! I am back in the U.S Now so I will be updating regularly. PLEASE REVIEW! I will love you if you do…seriously. :p

"The tragedy of human life consists in our vain attempts to stretch the limits of things which can never become unlimited, to reach the infinite by absurdly adding to the rungs of the ladder of the finite." ~ Rabindranath Tagore

* * *

Sam turned to his father with fear in his eyes "Dean wants to know what happened."

"He's awake?" Was Johns first question upon hearing the news.

Sam just nodded as he moved from Deans side so John could see his eldest.

John quickly strode over to the bed and pressed the call button, hoping the doctor would get to the room soon.

"How you feelin' son?" John asked.

Dean's fingers uncurled themselves from Sam's hand and he slowly reached out towards John, his own fears were reflected in his fathers eyes.

John quickly grabbed his sons hand and curled his fingers around the shaky hand.

A minute later, Doctor Carville entered the room and glanced at the three men huddled together.

"What seems to be the problem gentlemen?" he asked as he approached them.

"Well Doc…" Sam began. "My brothers awake and…he moved his legs!" Sam said, hoping to change the subject from the one Dean was concerned with.

"He moved his legs?" John asked, startled at the latest development.

"Mhm." Sam nodded "He tried to move over on the bed and his legs were shifting."

"Could you two please step back for a moment while I examine him?" the doctor asked.

They acquiesced as they stepped back.

"Hello Dean, I believe this is the first time we've actually met while you were conscious and my name is Doctor Carville or you can call me Jim, Whichever floats your boat."

He retrieved Dean's chart and glanced at the recorded vitals as he collected new ones.

"Your stats are improving nicely." he tells Dean as he glances at the monitors and records the new ones on Dean's chart.

"As a matter of fact, I really don't think the ventilator is necessary any more and if you're willing, I believe we can remove it and see how you do." he tells Dean.

Dean nods as much as his injuries will allow and the doctor motions for both John and Sam to come back over.

"Dean have you had any prior experience with a ventilator?" Jim asks

Dean closes his eyes and nods as he remembers the Rakshasa incident from two years prior.

"Then you know this won't be very pleasant.." he stops and signals to a passing nurse "Bring us a C-Tray and High Flow Mask." He tells her. The nurse nods and turns in the opposite direction to get the requested items.

Sam grabs Deans hand lightly when the nurse returns and Jim goes over the instructions one final time before they remove the tube.

"On three, I'll need you to cough as hard as you can and we'll pull the tube out. You need to remember to inhale and then exhale after it's removed. It'll be a little hard to control your breathing but we'll adjust the oxygen flow on the mask."

Jim glanced over to the nurse who was connecting the oxygen tubing to the supports and adjusting the air flow.

"Squeeze on my arm as hard as you need to Dean." Sam told him and John placed a reassuring hand on Dean's shoulder as kissed the top of his head.

"On Three…" Jim began. "One…two…Three!" he exclaimed as Dean coughed and he pulled.

Deans chest heaved from the strain and sweat began to pour down his face as he gagged from exertion.

An oxygen mask was immediately placed over his face and the flow was adjusted to provide maximal relief.

The doctor place both hands on Dean's chest and he felt the ribs to be sure none had been damaged. He left his hands in place as he coached Dean's breathing back to a normal rate.

"I was planning on leaving you on the vent for another few days, but with your chest infection and the risk of further infection complication from the ventilator, I felt it was best to remove it today."

The nurse grabbed a cup from the tray she brought in and handed it to Jim.

He adjusted the bed levels and grabbed a spoon. "These are ice chips, they'll help with the swelling."

Sam gently removed the oxygen mask for a moment while the doctor scooped two small ice chips into his brothers mouth.

Dean closed his eyes and relished in the relief that the ice brought to his sore throat.

He became awkwardly aware of the various pains in his body and remembered his earlier conversation with Sam.

"Hpnd." The word was mumbled, barely audible to the other men in the room but they all knew it came from Dean.

He coughed a bit to clear his throat and more ice chips were given to him.

After a few moments he tried again "What happened?" he asked, voice rough from disuse.

The doctor glanced at Dean's heart rate and respiration levels, trying to determine his patients overall standing for the moment.

All of the men knew that Dean deserved to know what'd happened, but none were sure how to broach the conversation.

It was Sam who spoke first. "What do you remember Dean?" he asked.

Dean rested his head against the pillow and thought back to what he could remember.

"We were…doing inspections in one of the towers." He paused to replace the mask and catch his breath before continuing. "There were…explosions and screaming and…chaos. I remember… I called my dad."

The men listened cautiously as he retold the story, each with bated breath.

Jim helped Dean with more ice chips and slightly adjusted the oxygen mask. "Take it easy Dean. If this is too much for you there will be more time later."

Dean shook his head before speaking "No. I…I have to know what happened. The last thing I remember I was running a last minute check of the floor and I was walking down the stairs and…there was another explosion…and after that…I don't know."

"You've done great kiddo." John told him, "And it's only fair we tell you what we know."

None of the men were sure which should break the news, it was silently decided that it would be Sam, considering his bond with Dean.

"Umm…Dean…Two planes crashed into the towers that you guys were evacuating." Sam began and after seeing the look of disbelief and shock on his brothers face he explained further, hoping to get this all over as soon as possible "It wasn't an accident and as far as they can tell right now it was terrorists from the middle east."

Dean's eyes portrayed every emotion Sam and John were feeling themselves: Shock, fear, sadness, and disbelief.

"Did anyone survive?" Dean asked.

This was the _one _question everyone had been hoping to avoid from the start.

"Dean…" his father began "You and…they're…" He wasn't sure how to put it. So he was a blunt as he could be without being hurtful. "Thousands of people are suspected to be dead Dean. Only a few survivors have been found so far, and the searches are continuing."

Dean was quiet as the information sunk in.

All of those people had died and _he _had lived. Thoughts began churning in his mind. 'Why him?' 'What made him so special?'

Jim immediately noticed the survivor remorse kicking in by the way Dean looked like a kicked puppy and he'd noticed that Dean's façade had entirely shattered.

"None of this was your fault Dean." Jim told him "I don't know you but you seem like a pretty nice guy Dean and there was no hidden reason behind your survival. You survived because you were in the right place at the right time. This was _human _evil you were up against, not anything Supernatural."

At this, Dean's head shot to his fathers face. "It's alright Dean, he knows." John assured him.

Dean closed his eyes and spoke so softly they all had to strain to hear him. "I'm tired…If you don't mind I'd like to sleep now."

"That's fine kid, just let me get an accurate temperature reading."

Jim had become concerned when he realized that the kids eyes were unnaturally glassy and he didn't think they were tear filled either.

He took his thermometer and placed it in Dean's ear. Only 20 seconds later it beeped, letting all know that it had gotten a reading,

His lip twitched as he glanced at the temperature "103.3"

"Are you in any pain right now?" Jim asked him.

Deans' eyes opened to mere slits before he addressed the doctor "My chest feels a little tight," he replied honestly "And I just…don't feel so hot right now."

"I don't want to bug you kid but in what way do you 'not feel so hot'." Jim asked.

"Well…I think that's the problem. It's too hot and I…I…" He was interrupted by a sudden coughing fit.

The coughs shook his battered frame and Jim recognized the signs when he saw his patient go from red to pale and diaphoretic. He grabbed a basin and instructed the men in the room how to turn Dean as painless as possible for him to vomit.

After all had settled down the doctor ordered several things to be brought into the room.

He ordered a cooling blanket, and sterile dry clothes as well as a fever reducer and compazine for Dean's nausea.

After all was done Dean was resting quietly while the doctor explained to Sam and John what'd happened.

"I think the stress, as well as exhaustion caused the fever to climb to the level it has. With the fever-reducer and the compazine in his system I think it's safe to say he's out of the woods for now."

He pulled out the thermometer and checked Dean's temperature again "102.3, not much better but it's a start."

The doctor glanced at his watch " I was off shift…an hour ago. It's just after 3 now."

"I'm going to get going seeing as you two will be standing guard here for awhile. I've allowed un-restricted access to this room so long as it's one of you or the other gentlemen that are in here." Jim told them as he stretched.

"So we'll be seeing you tonight?" John asked, hoping that it would be the same doctor covering his sons case when he came back on shift.

"I'll be back at 8PM tonight, until then the attending physician for Dean's case will be…" Jim was interrupted when John began to speak.

"If you don't mind Jim I know we've asked a lot from you, would you mind if we have that friend of ours Mackland Ames be his visiting attending? Just until your back on shift."

Jim glanced at Dean and back at John "I don't suppose it'll be a problem. I'll just fill out the necessary forms and have his credentials faxed over and then I'll make copies of Dean's information for him."

John nodded his thanks and the men exchanged their goodbyes.

After Jim's departure John called Mac's cell.

"Yello?" He Mac answer.

"Mac?" John asked.

"It's me John." Mac answered, sounding more awake "Is everything alright?"

"Umm…Ya but Dean's doctor just went off shift and he was going to temporarily assign Dean's case to someone else but…" John trailed off.

"And you told them you wanted me to cover the case ." Mac finished for him.

"Ya." John sighed, Mac knew him too well.

"You know it's not a problem John. Just let me get another hours sleep and get cleaned up and I'll head on over. I won't be much good to the kid if I'm too tired."

"Thanks Mac." John told him as he closed his phone.

"So…?" Sam asked.

"He'll be over in a few hours." John replied.

Both men grabbed the chairs in the room and pulled them next to Dean's bed, each knowing that sleep would no longer come tonight.

"So Sam…How have uh…How've your studies been coming?" John asked

Sam turned to his father "There uh…Going great dad."

"Good…that's good Sammy." John told him, trying to think of something Dean would ask.

"Any good skirts to be chasin' out that way?" John asked.

Sam's abrupt laughter loosened the tension in the room and both men were able to enjoy each others company.

"You know I'm not like that dad…but there is this one girl her name is Jess and…" Sam and his father enjoyed talking and each others company for the first time in a long time.

* * *

Reviews = LOVE! I'm trying to be sensitive with this ENTIRE story and get my facts straight so please correct me if I've done something wrong or not to your satisfaction!


	9. Chapter 9

**Never Forget**

**Reviews = Faster Updates.**

**Synopsis**: Pre-series. Dean and John are working separate hunts in New York when the unthinkable happens. It wasn't supposed to happen like this; it was supposed to be an easy hunt.

**Setting: **This story is set in NYC on September 11th 2001, is was also set in Palo Alto, but is not any longer. Pre-series AU.

**Disclaimer: **Supernatural and all of their associated content belong to Eric Kripke and the CW, I own nothing of the sort.

**A/N: **I AM SO SO SO SO SO SO...sorry. This has taken me way longer than expected to do a real "update" after I typed this chapter when I posted it before I found several mistakes and lost my muse for it! I am now working on chapter 10 and this is just an edited re-post! I plan on having chapter 10 up by Saturday!

"Man can live about forty days without food, about three days without water, about eight minutes without air, but only for one second without hope" ~ Unknown

_7:27 A.M September 13th 2001_

Mackland Ames couldn't believe the site that greeted him as he entered the room that belonged to Dean Winchester, his nephew by all accounts except for blood.

Sam had his head wedged in between the metal rail along Dean's bed with one arm hanging uselessly on the floor and his other arm was spread haphazardly on the bed alongside his brother.

John was _almost _as amusing to look at as Sam was, He was sitting spread eagle in the plastic chair with one hand on his stomach and the other resting along Sam's on the bed.

He almost hated to wake them but he knew that he needed to assess Dean to get an idea of what he was dealing with.

Mac stayed in the doorway, not wanting to spook Sam or John with a touch and spoke clearly over the beeps of the machinery "John, Sam."

John was the first alert and he sprang from his chair and turned to face the doorway.

"Jesus Christ Mac!" he whispered loudly, "Way to give me a heart attack."

By this point Sam had started to compose himself. "Everything okay?" he asked Mac as he crooked his head sideways, groaning in pain as the uncomfortable sleep position let itself be known.

"That's what I'm about to find out." Mac told them as he ushered them away for a moment so he could better assess his "patient".

He picked up the chart from the foot of the bed and read up on Dean's recent vital checks.

"Everything here looks stable…" he began as he read the earlier readings. "But if you gentlemen will excuse me for a moment I will go gather the supplies I need for this morning's check."

They both nodded and Mac was off to the nurses station to make his orders.

"That didn't take long." Sam said after Mac had left.

"Hmm?" John acknowledged as he took his attention away from Dean for a moment.

"Anytime you bring the 'Medical Mac' onto things he takes charge like he owns the place.." Sam began "But I also know that 'Medical Mac' will give Dean the absolute best care."

John nodded in agreement.

Both glanced at the bed upon hearing a weak pain-filled groan.

"Son?" John asked, at the same time Sam whispered "You okay Dean?"

"Hrrts." The word was barely audible but both Sam and John heard it through the oxygen mask.

"What hurts son?" John asked, hoping Mac would return soon.

Dean weakly reached his un-injured arm towards the nightstand where the cup of nearly-melted ice chips was being kept.

Sam reached for the controls and elevated the bed a small degree so Dean was able to swallow the chips without difficulty.

Both men smiled as they heard Dean's sigh of relief upon feeling the cool crisp ice slide down his dry throat.

Dean reached up towards his face with his un-injured arm and moved the oxygen mask for a moment "Everything…"He paused "Hurts."

"Don't worry Dean, Mac will be right back." Sam told him.

At Dean's questioning glance Sam quickly continued "Your other doctor was off shift so Mr. Headcase has taken over." Sam informed him.

Sam's heart did a flip-flop as he glanced over and saw the first true smile on Dean's face since all of this started.

"Good." Dean whispered before replacing the mask again.

John and Sam could always rely on Mac for his impeccable timing. It was only 60 seconds later that Mac strolled into the room like he'd worked here all his life, with him he had a small container of medical supplies.

"Well Dean, it's good to see you awake son how are you feelin'?" Mac asked.

Dean looked over to Sam as though even the effort of acknowledging Mac was too draining.

"Just before you got here he said everything hurts." Sam told him.

Mac focused his attention on Dean "That true son?"

Dean started to nod but thought better of it when he felt the sharp spasm of pain ripple along his neck. 'Turning the head-not a good idea.' he silently noted.

He instead settled for a thumbs up.

"Do you want these two to leave the room while I do the exam Dean?" Mac asked, not wanting to force John and Sam out but offering Dean the chance if he was uncomfortable.

Deans pleading eyes were all the answer anyone needed as he desperately reached out towards Sam and his father.

Mac carefully had John help him adjust Dean so he could remove the gown he was wearing, while Sam closed the blinds and the door.

It was hard to stop the intake of breath as all of the brilliantly colored bruises were revealed.

"Jesus Dean." John said, nearly turning away. He knew the pain his son must be in was unbearable and it hurt him to think he hadn't been there for him. Just like when Sam left- he had been pushing Dean away.

"We'll start at the top and then work our way down Dean, then I can give you the good stuff." Mac nodded towards the new bag of fluids that lay amongst the supplies.

Mac again glanced at the chart not wanting to miss anything as he repeated the injuries aloud "4 Crushed ribs, left side broken ankle, fractured collar bone, dislocated shoulder 'Left', and two surgical sites."

Mac carefully unwrapped Dean's ribs and removed all of the bandages. After realizing that Dean's left shoulder and collar bone were giving him some discomfort he applied some anti-inflammatory creme to the area, hoping to give him some relief.

He them moved on to gently probe Dean's ribs, making sure that they were healing as necessary.

'This boy went through some kind of hell' He couldn't help but think to himself as he continued his exam.

Sam held Dean's hand as Mac began to feel the incision sites to make sure there were no abnormalities like extreme tenderness, rigidity, or infection. After thoroughly cleaning the incisions he re-bandaged them.

Before he moved on to the mess that was Dean's ankle he raised the bed as high as he could so he could check Dean's lungs.

Both Sam and John helped Dean slide forward as best he could, neither able to ignore Dean's desperate pleas for relief from the pain.

"I know it hurts Dean, I can administer the meds right after this okay?" Mac assured him.

He quickly took his stethoscope off and placed the cold metal on Dean's back.

Dean jumped slightly as the metal made contact with his fevered skin. Mac swore to himself as he realized he should've warmed it first, but he wanted to get this over as quickly as possible, for Dean's sake.

"Sorry about that son."

"Take as deep a breath as you can kiddo." Mac instructed as he moved the stethoscope around, listening to the various areas in Dean's lungs.

He noticed that the congestion had yet to improve and made the notation on Dean's chart to keep an eye on the lung infection.

John and Sam carefully moved Dean back to rest on the bed after they'd gotten a fresh gown on him and he'd been given a thorough "cleansing."

Mac checked the ankle and knew what Dean's alternate attending had been suspecting, it would most-likely require surgery at a later date when Dean was able to handle it.

Mac grabbed the IV bag with the Saline/Morphine cocktail and attached it to the pole.

Dean was asleep within minutes.

"How does he look Mac?" John asked.

"I won't sugar coat it John, he has a long way to go. His lung infection hasn't began to clear up so I want to see about getting some stronger antibiotics and he'll probably need surgery to repair the bones in his ankle." Mac told him.

"But is he stable for now? Will things continue to….." John trailed off as he realized that Mac was no longer listening to him.

John turned his attention to where Mac's was. Sam had been quietly whispering words of encouragement to Dean but he had stopped and was standing still, staring off into space.

"Sammy?" John asked as he took a step towards his son.

Sam's unfocused eyes met his fathers and he snapped out of his daze "M'okay dad just…" Sam's eyes rolled slowly back and his body went limp, falling towards the ground.

"What the hell!" John yelled as he and Mac quickly sprang to stop Sam's fall.

John was able to grab him behind the shoulders and lower him gently to the ground where Mac was already awaiting him with his medical bag.

"Mac?" John asked as Mac continued to look Sammy over.

"Wait a second John." Mac cautioned him as he checked Sam's blood pressure with his lancet and glucometer.

"His blood pressure is a little low and his low sugar level concerns me." Mac told him as he tried to rouse Sam. "However, I don't think it's anything to be particularly worried about because both of these are things we can fix", Mac told John. "I think this is the result of exhaustion, stress, and lack of nutrition over the last few days."

Between the two of them, they were able to get Sam dressed into a pair of scrubs and into the empty bed in the room. Mac started a normal saline IV on Sam to replenish the fluids he had lost and to what would later be Sam's displeasure he inserted a catheter. They had roused Sam briefly and stuffed a bottle of Gatorade into him along with 4 granola bars. Mac had finally given Sam a low dose of sleeping medication so he could sleep off the exhaustion.

"Why don't you go ahead over to the motel John?" Mac suggested "You look tired as hell and I don't have another bed in this room for you. Get cleaned up, something to eat, and send one of the other guys over. I'll take it from here."

John was about to object but Mac beat him to it "Doctor's orders Johnny." Mac told him.

John grumbled wearily as Mac led him to the nurses station after he'd said farewell to his boys for the day.

Caleb was already there waiting, to drive John back to the motel.

"How are they?" Caleb asked upon seeing his dad.

"They're okay son." Mac assured him and then pulled Caleb off to the side. "Make sure Jim gets him to sleep and eat…And shower." he added as though it were an afterthought.

Caleb nodded "I'll be back in about 30 minutes to stay with them." Caleb told him.

Mac glanced at his watch after Caleb had left it was nearly 9:30. 'Where has the time gone?' he wondered as he walked back towards Dean's room.

He pulled a chair up between the beds while he waited. "You Winchesters never do anything half-way do ya?" he asked as he smiled fondly and settled in to wait for Caleb.

*Reviews = LOVE! More Caleb to come as they all help Dean deal with the emotional and physical ramifications of his ordeal. All mistakes are mine- though I think I did a fairly decent read-through! Looking for a beta for this!


	10. Chapter 10

**Never Forget**

**Reviews = Faster Updates.**

**Synopsis**: Pre-series. Dean and John are working separate hunts in New York when the unthinkable happens. It wasn't supposed to happen like this; it was supposed to be an easy hunt.

**Setting: **This story is set in NYC on September 11th 2001, is was also set in Palo Alto, but is not any longer. Pre-series.

**Disclaimer: **Supernatural and all of their associated content belong to Eric Kripke and the CW, I own nothing of the sort.

**A/N: **This may contain some material that some readers find sensitive and it is pre-series AU. **I am so sorry this has taken so long to get up! My only excuse is that I had lost my muse and it is now back and I recently dealt with a stalker problem... This chapter gets a little gross in italics! **

"Emotional occasions, especially violent ones, are extremely potent in precipitating mental rearrangements. The sudden and explosive ways in which love, jealousy, guilt, fear, **remorse**, or anger can seize upon one are known to everybody. . . . And emotions that come in this explosive way seldom leave things as they found them." ~ William James

_

* * *

__10:36 A.M September 13__th__ 2001_

"Shit" Caleb swore as he walked into the room and noticed the time. He had left the hospital over an hour ago!

He looked next to Dean's bed and tried not to laugh when he saw his father sprawled in the chair, fast asleep.

"Hey, Dad." Caleb nudged his father's shoulder, as he whispered to the elder man, not wanting to wake Dean.

"Caleb?" Mac glanced up as he wiped the sleep from his eyes.

"Yea, sorry dad. Traffic was insane, I parked the car about 2 miles away and walked back. I didn't even realize how bad it was there. Man, it's horrible."

Mac noticed the haunted look in his young son's eyes. He had clearly seen some of the victims on his way to up Dean's room.

"I'm going to take a quick look at Dean and then you can sit and talk with him when he wakes up." Mac said.

"Okay dad" Caleb acknowledged "But where are you going after?"

"I'm going to go help where I can until Dean's other doctor comes back on." Mac told his son.

"Okay"

Mac checked Dean's vitals for any abnormalities and was happy to find that the new medication they had put Dean on was helping to clear his congestion and his fever was down one half of a degree.

"Everything looks good here son, have me paged if he needs anything okay?" Mac asked.

"Alright, but what about Sam?" Caleb acknowledged the lump beneath the blankets on the other bed.

"He'll probably be sleeping off the exhaustion. If he wakes up, grab one of those mini-Gatorades from the basket and make him drink it all then let him sleep."

"See ya later dad." Caleb said as he settled into the chair and took Dean's hand.

Mac smiled at his son and paused before leaving the room, giving one last glance at his son and his childhood best friend.

"Hey Deuce." Caleb said, thinking he was talking to an unconscious Dean, not at all ready when he heard the whispered "Hey Damien" from beneath the oxygen mask.

He dropped Dean's hand and stood quickly up, coughing to clear his throat, his face turning a dark shade of pink.

"Hi" Caleb said when he could think of nothing else to say, not entirely sure what _to _say to Dean after all he'd been through.

"I think we've covered that base dude." Dean said as tried to adjust himself to a more comfortable position.

"Uh yea…." Caleb trailed off "Need your bed adjusted some?" he asked.

"Pshtt yea I'm sure you want to 'help' me 'adjust' the bed." Dean joked.

Caleb could see beneath the act Dean was putting on, he could see the horror in his eyes, and he knew Dean didn't need a baby-sitter he needed a friend, someone he could talk to.

"I'm not buying it Deuce." Caleb gave him a stern look.

"Buying what?" Dean asked as he replaced the oxygen mask, his chest heaving from the exertion of just talking.

Caleb really didn't want to upset his friend, but Sam was knocked out and no one was around so he knew what he had to do. He had to be a _real _friend as much as it may hurt Dean.

"This wasn't your fault Dean." Caleb told him, ignoring Dean's silent pleas to stop talking.

"You were _on a hunt _Dean. You did NOT drive those planes into those buildings. You did NOT kill those children, or those people whose faces have been haunting you on T.V! You were doing your _job, _you and everyone else were hurt because of _them. _I remember what happened to you when Sammy went off to college. Dean, it was only a few months ago. I will **not **let it happen again…" Caleb paused mid sentence as he remembered finding Dean only 2 weeks after Sam left.

* * *

'_Don't worry John, he's gotta be here. He'd never leave the Impala alone in a place like…this.' Caleb motioned with his hands, referring to the parking lot of a run-down motel where the Impala was parked._

'_What in the hell possessed him to run off like that!' John yelled aloud, slamming his fist in to the hood of the Impala. _

'_You know what did Johnny.' Mac told him 'Sam leavin' was just too much for him to take. He thinks it's his fault that Sam left, that he wasn't doing a good enough job looking after him.'_

'_He knows it wasn't his fault' John whispered 'I pushed Sammy away when he needed me most, it's my fault.'_

'_All of us standing around out here isn't going to do him a lick of good ya idjits' Bobby said, 'Let's go inside and see what he's done to himself!'_

_Caleb quickly went into the office with his fake: FBI badge and came out only moments later carrying a set of master-keys._

'_He's in 6' he told them as he started off for the room at a jog._

'_What's with the rush Caleb?' Mac asked his son._

'_The owner saw him stumble in about 48 hours ago with 2 bottles of liquor and he said he didn't look that great. I told him I was a concerned friend and he didn't ask twice, didn't even ask for the ID.' Caleb informed them._

'_Damn it' John swore as he jogged to Caleb's pace._

_Upon reaching the room Caleb put the key in and opened the door._

_The smell of vomit immediately reached them all. The air in the room was stale as Bobby went to open a curtain, the room was eerily dark even with the day-time light pouring in._

'_Deuce!' Caleb yelled as he saw his friend sprawled on his side, laying next to a puddle of his own vomit. His eyes were closed and his skin was very pale._

'_Dean!' John's shout echoed Caleb's own._

_Mac pushed all of the men away from Dean and grabbed his wrist, his skin was cool and clammy. His pulse was…slow…far too slow for Mac's liking. _

_He peeled Dean's eyelids back and was relieved to find that both responded to the light, but he was discerned to find that they were sluggish._

'_He's got himself a clear case of alcohol poisoning.' Mac said._

'_I'm sure you went to med school to get that conclusion doc' Bobby stated 'Anyone with eyes could see that.' He pointed to the floor only feet away from Dean were 3 large liquor bottles._

'_Dean, Can you here me son?' John asked as he knelt by Dean's head._

'_Caleb take this and go pay for the room' Mac instructed as he handed his son money. 'John get his things together, any traces that he was here. Bobby, bring the SUV around.' _

_As they left to do their assigned tasks Mac pressed gently on Dean's sternum and gradually increased the pressure to rouse the boy._

'_Ughnn' Dean let out an unintelligible groan. 'Smmy?' Mac's heart just about broke as he heard Dean's heart-felt but delirious plea. He could do this, he needed to detach himself from the situation, Dean needed him as a doctor right now, he could be a friend later._

_As Dean became more aware of his surroundings, Mac picked him up and half-carried, half dragged him into the bathroom. _

_He left Dean for a moment and went into the room to grab his bag. He mixed the necessary drink and put it to Dean's lips 'Open up Dean'. _

_Mac gently teased Dean's lips open and poured the liquid down. Dean coughed, spluttering the concoction everywhere, but Mac knew that Dean had swallowed enough for the drink to do the job. _

_His efforts were rewarded a moment later when Dean went a sickly shade of green. Mac supported his torso as his body emptied itself of the volatile liquor that was making him ill._

'_T-t-the Hell s'at?' Dean asked._

'_Salt water' Mac told him 'It'll clear your system sooner.'_

_Dean collapsed unconscious only moments later. By the time this had been done, the room was paid for, the stuff was picked up and Bobby was waiting for them in the SUV._

'_We're going to take him to a nicer hotel' Mac told them 'We'll get him cleaned up and let this run his course. A hospital won't do him much good right now, I can help him.' _

* * *

They'd gotten Dean to a nice hotel, and it'd taken 3 weeks of good nutrition and friend counseling but he'd smiled again. He hadn't been his true self since so he didn't need **this **to push him over the edge.

"I don't…." Dean paused replacing the mask "blame myself." he argued.

"Deuce, psychic here! Or did you forget?" Caleb reminded him "I can read your emotions like an open book, let's see here: Guilt, Remorse, Sadness, Heartbreak, Regret, and Betrayal."

Dean said nothing, he just turned his head away "It's just not fair" he whispered "It should've been me."

"God Dean" Caleb whispered as he felt the emotions and thoughts go through Dean's head.

"If…if there was a god he wouldn't have let this happen." Dean said as he turned his head back towards Caleb, tears were silently making their way down his face.

"It's alright Deuce, just let it out." Caleb said as he moved closer to the bed and lowered the rail so he could place the chair a closer distance to Dean.

Dean placed his head on Caleb's shoulder as sobs wracked his already battered body.

Caleb hit the call button and was relieved to see his father answer the call rather than one of the nurses.

'What happened?' Mac thought, knowing the psychic could hear him

"He's made some realizations about the attack dad." Caleb told him "Believe me, it was better to get it over with now."

"Well as much as I hate what it's doing to him, I know it's necessary." Mac replied.

"Easy Deuce" Caleb said as he awkwardly put his arm around Dean and rubbed small circles on his wrist.

"N-not my fault?" Dean asked again, looking for a small reassurance.

"No Deuce, not your fault." Caleb assured him.

Mac increased the amount of oxygen Dean was receiving and frowned, his temperature had gone up. It'd need to be monitored more closely. He changed Dean's IV and watched as the sobs slowly tapered off and Dean eased into a nice, dream-free sleep.

"We'll get him through this dad." Caleb told him, glancing to Sammy in the other bed

"We all will."

* * *

*REVIEW! I hope this was worth the wait! I'm sorry it took so long but I've recently dealt with a stalker…and things were tense for a while! But I'm back!


	11. Chapter 11

**Never Forget**

**Reviews = Faster Updates.**

**Synopsis**: Pre-series. Dean and John are working separate hunts in New York when the unthinkable happens. It wasn't supposed to happen like this; it was supposed to be an easy hunt.

**Setting: **This story is set in NYC on September 11th 2001, is was also set in Palo Alto, but is not any longer. Pre-series.

**Disclaimer: **Supernatural and all of their associated content belong to Eric Kripke and the CW, I own nothing of the sort.

**A/N: **This may contain some material that some readers find sensitive and it is pre-series AU. Here is an update! Not as large but still was fast! Summer hours are quieter!

"Moving on, is a simple thing, what it leaves behind is hard." ~ Dave Mustaine

_

* * *

_

_4:47 P.M September 13th__ 2001_

"You sure you're alright here John?" Asked Mac as he looked in to John's eyes, he could see how tired his friend looked and doubted he'd slept much at all over the past few hours.

"Yea, Mac." he said "I'm alright, just glad to be back with my boys."

Mac looked over to Caleb, "All right son, let's get back to the motel for some shuteye."

Dean had mostly slept over the few hours Caleb had been sitting with him. When he was awake he was quiet and withdrawn, but they could see it in his eyes that he was getting over the 'self-blame'. They could also see that he was now trying to seek closure, closure that would not come for many days.

"Well, doctor Carville is back on shift so if you need anything John remember to just page him. I've explained the situation with Samuel so he has no problems with either of you occupying the bed tonight okay?" Mac told him.

The effects of the exhaustion were slowly wearing off on Sam. He was currently in the Cafeteria grabbing a sandwich for himself and his father, who he knew would be arriving shortly.

"Alright Mac, and thanks again. For everything." John replied.

"Not a problem John. Caleb and I will see you again in the morning." Mac told him and then turned to his son.

He smiled as he saw Caleb leaning over closely to Dean and whispering in his ear.

"_You gotta get better man, we can blow this place and go find some nice New York women if ya catch my drift." _he whispered.

Both Mac and John pretended not to notice when Caleb rubbed his hand over Dean's short, spiky hair.

"Neither of you saw that!" The psychic fumed when he heard their thoughts.

"Saw what?" John asked smiling.

Caleb stalked from the room and his father followed, laughing the entire way.

John sat down in the now vacant chair and took Dean's hand. "How ya feelin' son?" he asked.

He laughed as his sons eyes opened to mere slits, "How'd you know I was awake?" Dean rasped.

John reached for one of the cups with ice chips and assisted Dean with putting some in his mouth.

"I can read you like a book kid." his father reminded him. "I saw you flinch when I sat down."

"Kinda surprised me as I was wakin' up." Dean told him.

Sam walked into the room the minute Dean finished talking, he nearly dropped the food he was carrying when he saw that his brother was awake.

"Dean! Hey!" he exclaimed as he struggled to keep his hold on the food.

"Easy Samantha, I'm all right." Dean whispered

"You're anything but all right Dean," his father reminded him "Physically anyways."

"Ahh man, Mac and Caleb told you about that?" Dean asked as he turned red.

"Of course they told me Dean, you may be over 21 but you are still my son. Why didn't you tell me how you felt Dean?" John asked, "I know I may not be the most understanding of individuals but….."

He was interrupted when Dean snorted and whispered "Understatement of the year…"

Sam started laughing, then John started laughing, and eventually Dean joined in. They must've looked ridiculous to anyone walking by but they _didn't care. _For the first time in along time it was just the three of them there, together, and laughing and to Dean it felt just…_right. _

John immediately stopped laughing when he saw the tears in his eldest's eyes. "Are you okay Dean?" He asked "Do you need a doctor?"

Dean just shook his head and wiped his face the best he could. "It's just…." he stopped as he was overcome once again by tears. "I feel…so…weak and I miss…I miss this." he sobbed "I miss the three of us, saving people, and hunting things _together. _Do you even…realize…h-how…l-long-g it's been since we've just been together without fighting? Without you an Sam butting heads?"

"Too long." Sam said "I'm sorry dad, about everything I said before I left…I should've realized what it was doing to you Dean…it's my fault you're even in this situation."

"Sammy it's not…" Dean began but was interrupted by John.

"If it's anyone's fault it's mine Sam. I gave Dean this solo-hunt, I thought he was ready to be out on his own and…."

Sam interrupted him, voice raising as he continued "No dad, if I hadn't left…."

"STOP IT!" Dean yelled as loudly as he could "Please…just…stop it." John and Sam looked at each other, realizing they were doing it again. _Fighting _without even realizing it.

"I'm sorry Dean." Sam said…"I didn't think…"

"That's right Sammy…you don't think." Dean began, mustering up all the strength he had to tell his brother _exactly _how he'd felt the last few months. "You do what's best for yourself and that's how it's always been or at least, how it's always felt. I've given _everything _for you I've done _everything _for you and you just left? You know…I tried to convince myself for the longest time that you belonged in Stanford, that you left for a reason and just…the only conclusion I came to was that you left to get away from me…and let's not delay the inevitable Sam…just…go back to Stanford…at least this way I can see it coming."

Sam stared at Dean, mouth agape as he listened to his brother talking.

John's look mirrored Sam's own as Dean told them how he'd felt for the last few months, his heart was breaking as he heard his son's heart-felt words. Hell he'd felt the same way himself.

Sam looked away for a moment after Dean finished and then he looked right back at him, anger in his eyes.

"Is that what you honestly think?" he demanded "That I left to get away from _you? _Dean, I left _for _you. I know how much it hurt you to see me and Dad arguing, my heart was breaking Dean! I had to leave, I couldn't deal with you 'taking off' every time dad and I were in the same room! You are one selfish son of a bitch if you think I'm going to let you deal with this on your own big brother, I'm not going **anywheres." **

John just stood, taking in the scene as his sons continued to sort out what had desperately needed to be done for months.

"You mean…" Dean began "You're not going back to Stanford right away?"

Sam had to look away at the sheer hope in his brother's eyes, it was almost too much.

"No Dean, I'm not going back right away, I'm not going back, period. My place is here with you…and dad." he had to blink away the tears that threatened to spill "These have been the hardest months of my life Dean, not knowing what happened to you every minute. This is a _family _business so we'd better start acting like it."

Sam cautiously leaned down and hugged Dean, motioning for John to follow his lead.

John looked awkwardly torn, he hadn't been this close or emotional with his boys since…well it'd been too damn long. He leaned in and the three men hugged for what seemed like forever.

"Well this is awkward…" Dean mumbled after a few seconds.

Sam quickly pulled away and John followed suit, each straightening their shirts and hiding their faces as they noticed that several people in the hallway had stopped to watch the family's heart-felt moment.

Sam looked at his father, I mean _really _looked at his father since any of this had begun. He noticed that his father had showered but that was about all he was sure he had done.

"You look dead on your feet dad." Sam stated honestly, "Here, eat your chicken salad sandwich and get into the bed. I'll keep an eye on Dean."

"Hey! 'Dean' Is sitting right here." Dean pouted "And he can keep a perfect eye on himself!"

"So you want me to leave?" Sam joked, not at all ready for Dean's reaction. Dean reached his arm out as quickly as he could and grabbed Sam's wrist. "I was just kidding!" he plead.

"Easy man." Sam said "I was just messin' around."

"Yea…kidding." Dean said absently.

"I already told you Dean, unless it's to sleep later, I'm not going anywhere."

* * *

John picked up the sandwich and sat on the other bed, silently, watching his boys as Sam sat in the chair next to the bed and Dean slowly started to fall asleep.

He tossed the wrapper into the garbage and laid back, ready to sleep for a while.

He had one last thought before sleep claimed him:

'_Mary…if you're listening…please keep our boys together and safe."_

* * *

**REVIEW**: You didn't expect an update this fast did you? XD Thank you to ALL of my reviewers! You can be expecting a reply soon if you haven't already gotten one!


	12. Chapter 12

**Never Forget**

**Reviews = Faster Updates.**

**Synopsis**: Pre-series. Dean and John are working separate hunts in New York when the unthinkable happens. It wasn't supposed to happen like this; it was supposed to be an easy hunt.

**Setting: **This story is set in NYC on September 11th 2001, is was also set in Palo Alto, but is not any longer. Pre-series.

**Disclaimer: **Supernatural and all of their associated content belong to Eric Kripke and the CW, I own nothing of the sort.

**A/N: **This may contain some material that some readers find sensitive and it is pre-series AU. Okay long wait, I know darn WIP but I now have more time off until September so expect another update in a couple of days. No beta so all mistakes are my own.

**IMPORTANT:: **Some people are messaging me getting mad that I will not bring Jessica into the story and that I will not have Sam returning to Stanford. Know what? It's my story and I'll write it as I see fit. This is AU!

_"The art of living is more like that of wrestling than of dancing. The main thing is to stand firm and be ready for an unseen attack."_

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__11:53 PM September 13th__ 2001_

Sam glanced over at his brother from behind the magazine he was skimming through. This had been the routine for the last couple of hours since his father had fallen asleep.

They were mostly un-interrupted aside from Dr. Carville coming in to check on his brother and of course the nurses that had been in to do his neuro check.

Sam had sat silently for most of this time, thinking back to the conversation he'd had with his brother earlier. Sure, there would be certain things he'd miss about Stanford but, he was happy here with his brother, truly happy for the first time in months.

As he glanced down to Dean he noticed something looked…off. He couldn't quite put his finger on it but it made him nervous enough to alert his father and to push the call button.

"Dad!" he called, relieved to see his father sit up and slide off the bed quickly "I think something's wrong with Dean."

"What do you mean Sam?" Asked John "Did you call the doctor?"

"I hit the call button 2 seconds ago, and he just looks off some how." Sam replied.

John glanced down at his eldest and saw what Sam was talking about, Deans' eyes were moving rapidly behind closed lids, and his body seemed tense some how. There was sweat on his brow and his face felt oddly cool.

John recognized the signs from soldiers he'd seen on the battle field and from several possessions. Dean looked like a man that was going to seize.

He was glad to see Jim Carville run through the doorway as his son's body began to convulse on the bed. He quickly yelled into the hallway "I need two nurses STAT! Page Doctor Reid."

Sam and John were shoved back as two nurses entered the room. One grabbed a tongue depressor held Dean's head as securely as possible to prevent him from injuring himself further.

As the other doctor entered the room, clearly prepped for the emergency doctor Carville yelled instructions to him "I want 2 Mg's of Diazepam IV push now, get radiology up here and Doctor Newton for a surgical consult."

"Surgical consult?" John asked, as the seizure slowed to a stop.

"We're going to need you to leave the room sir." A nurse informed him

"I'm not leaving my son!" he yelled

"John" Carville began "Let us do our jobs, I'll be out as soon as possible to let you know."

John didn't struggle as Sam put an arm around him and gently but firmly pulled him from the room. Sam left his arm around his dad's shoulder as they walked. Once they turned into the waiting room they were each shocked to find it empty.

Sam noticed for the first time that his father's shoulders were shaking as he went to move his arm so his father could sit.

"You okay dad?" Sam asked as his father sat down. Sam kneeled in front of him.

He looked at his father's face and realized that he was crying, and it was at that moment that Sam Winchester was the most scared he'd been in his entire life. This was….his father the 'mighty' John Winchester, hunter extraordinaire. This was the first time he'd EVER in all of his years seen his father cry.

"Dad?" Sam asked again.

"Oh God Sammy….your brother…h-he could oh god." John cried, emotionally spent.

Sam felt like breaking down himself but to him it appeared that he'd have to be the strong one for all of their sakes, there would be time for breakdowns later.

"Let's go grab a coffee dad." Sam said, his father nodded tiredly and stood. They walked only 15 feet at most before John felt his legs give out from under him, and it was at that time that Jim Carville walked into the room.

"Dad?" Sam asked, quickly grabbing his father to prevent him from falling on to the hard surface.

"John!" Carville yelled, alarmed at the man's pallor.

"M'okay…just…. so tired." John said as he shook himself awake and took his son's offered hand to pull himself up.

"Mind letting me be the judge of that?" Joked Carville as they all sat in chairs.

"How's Dean?" Asked Sam "What happened?"

"Your brother is doing just fine Sam, his fever rose pretty steadily, it seems one of his wounds became inflamed and with the stress of his prior injuries it resulted in hypo-tension shock which led to the seizure. In laymen's terms: Your brother will be okay and we are not anticipating another episode like tonight's. We have him on a cooling solution and are continuing to run the antibiotics."

"Thank god." Both John and Sam said at the same time.

John shook his head and ran his hand through his hair, "I thought I was losing my boy, I've seen a lot of episodes like that in…the war and most didn't end as well."

"Let's check on you now shall we?" Asked Carville. "I just want to get back to my son." John replied.

"Then we can get this over with fast." Carville winked.

After finding that John was indeed fine aside from exhaustion they went back to Dean's rooms.

"He'll probably sleep through the night with the diazepam in his system, and I'll be in to check on him in a bit. I'll leave you alone now but John, be sure to get some sleep okay?" he said as he left the room.

John sat in the chair next to Dean's bed and placed his hand on his son's chest, relishing in the up and down motion his son's chest was making, the small assurance that he was still alive.

"We'll get through this son- I promise you."

Sam stood silently and watched his father and brother, he now saw what Dean had earlier: Things were right when they were together.

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-*REVIEWS = LOVE! Okay…so a little fluffy and angst-y but the next one will have less unless you want more? Let me know! Still seeking a beta!


	13. Chapter 13

**Never Forget**

**Reviews = Faster Updates.**

**Synopsis**: Pre-series. Dean and John are working separate hunts in New York when the unthinkable happens. It wasn't supposed to happen like this; it was supposed to be an easy hunt.

**Setting: **This story is set in NYC on September 11th 2001, is was also set in Palo Alto, but is not any longer. Pre-series.

**Disclaimer: **Supernatural and all of their associated content belong to Eric Kripke and the CW, I own nothing of the sort.

**A/N: **This may contain some material that some readers find sensitive and it is pre-series AU. Alright I still need a beta so all mistakes are my OWN. This chapter will be short but an update is and update I guess. Real life has been kicking my butt ughh darn overtime when I was supposed to work LESS.

"_Living is strife and torment, disappointment and love and sacrifice, golden sunsets and black storms. I said that some time ago, and today I do not think I would add one word." ~ Laurence Olivier Sir_

_

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_

_7:37 AM September 14__th__ 2001_

Caleb sat near the window in the room, watching the black cloud that continued to rise from the ashes at the terrible scene. He could hear the quiet murmur of Jim's voice as he prayed for Dean, and he could hear all the early morning hospital sounds from the people chatting in the hall as they passed to the quiet chirps from the machines.

The noises were, in a way almost settling. It was good to know life was slowly beginning to move on from this terrible tragedy and things would surely but slowly return to the well- almost 'norm".

The black smoke was forming an almost cloud of sorts over the city, and as he'd walked the scene with his father the previous evening, trying to offer what help they could

. Caleb himself had broke down crying as he saw the rubble, and the sheets thrown haphazardly over certain areas on the street.

He'd seen a lot in his short time as a hunter, but nothing had prepared him for what he would see as he walked amongst the rubble.

There was just…death and destruction and chaos.

Jim's soft-spoken yet firm voice interrupted his thoughts "Caleb? I'm going to run back to the hotel with John and Samuel, to make sure they get their rest and their showers. Would you mind coming over to sit with Dean? He's awake." Jim winked.

"Yea sure" Caleb said as he stood and stretched, he knew Jim would meet up with Sam and John in the cafeteria and get them back to the hotel for the rest that they both so desperately needed.

"Take care of them Jim" Caleb said as the pastor began to leave, "and tell dad I'll see him in a bit when Carville goes off shift." he added as an afterthought.

Jim nodded and then left.

"Thanks." Dean whispered.

"For what? Caleb asked, confused.

"Getting rid of the preacher man…" Dean winked "I know he means well but…prayer isn't exactly what I need right now."

"Then what do you need right now Deuce?" Caleb asked "Because none of us can help you unless you tell us what you need."

Dean closed his eyes and laid his head back into the pillow "I want everything to be like it was…before any of this….minus Sammy being gone. I want to go back to the hunts with dad and…I want this gone…"

Caleb knew Dean was hoping he could forget and move past what happened to him, but Caleb also knew that no matter how hard Dean tried he would never forget what happened and he needed to help his friend deal with it.

"Tell me what happened Dean." Caleb encouraged "Maybe, if you remember it you can work through it and realize you didn't do anything wrong."

"No man…I know I didn't do anything to cause what happened but…the guilt that I'm one of the people to survive out of…of everyone that died is just…so hard to…Why me? I mean why not the pregnant woman that was on the news? Why not the father of four with everything to live for? Why out of all of these people did I survive?" Dean fumed

Caleb was beginning to understand how Dean was feeling and had a better idea now to help his friend.

"Did you want to die Dean?" Caleb asked "Did you want Sammy to have no one to protect him? Did you want all of the innocent people you are going to save some day to die? Did you ever stop and think Deuce, that maybe it was no coincidence you were one of the few survivors?"

Dean stopped to ponder this as Caleb continued to speak, "Maybe…just maybe there is a God deuce and he knows what you're doing _saving people and hunting things _that could be the difference, the one thing you have yet to notice Dean. You have a purpose and…have such a bright future ahead of you. You will make a difference in SO many peoples' lives!"

"I g-guess I never thought of it that way. I mean…well you know." Dean said

"Yea Deuce, I know." Caleb smiled, glad to see even the tiniest glimmer of the old Dean in the sparkling green depths of his eyes.

The two were silent for a few moments, Dean clearly in thought, and Caleb was watching the muted television.

"H-hey D-d-damien? Dean struggled to get the words out through sudden bursts of pain.

"What is it Deuce?" Caleb asked as he quickly stood and pushed the chair out of the way, reaching for Dean's outstretched hand.

"H-h-rts" Was all Dean was able to say through the waves of pain.

Caleb quickly pushed the call button, yelling when there was no immediate response "I NEED SOME HELP IN HERE!"

He then turned to Dean and whispered "It's alright Deuce, help is on the way."

Mac rushed into the room followed by two nurses "What happened?" he asked "I just came in and heard your shout."

"I'm not sure, we were talking and then he just said my name and something hurts." Caleb stuttered, feeling helpless as his friend's already weakened body shuddered in pain on the bed.

"What is it Dean?" Mac asked, holding the boys head as steady as possible.

"My leg." Dean managed "Ahh!" he cried out and shuddered, his body going limp.

"Dad?" Caleb yelled.

"It's alright son, he just passed out." Mac turned to one of the nurses as he looked under the sheets and at Dean's ankle.

"Kelly, call in Kovach and get OR 2 ready NOW." he turned and didn't wait for her to respond.

"Call John and Sam and let them know I'm taking him to the OR to repair his ankle, it looks like he moved his foot the wrong way and it's starting to heal the wrong way. It's a simple procedure and he'll be fine!" Mac said as they wheeled Dean out of the room.

'This is one call I don't want to make…' Caleb thought to himself as he walked to the nurses station and dialed the number, frowning as he heard the voice pick up after only one ring.

"Hey John…it's Caleb and there is something I gotta tell you….."

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*REVIEWS = LOVE! The more reviews the quicker the updates I want to break 200.


	14. Chapter 14

**Reviews = Faster Updates.**

**Synopsis**: Pre-series. Dean and John are working separate hunts in New York when the unthinkable happens. It wasn't supposed to happen like this; it was supposed to be an easy hunt.

**Setting: **This story is set in NYC on September 11th 2001, is was also set in Palo Alto, but is not any longer. Pre-series.

**Disclaimer: **Supernatural and all of their associated content belong to Eric Kripke and the CW, I own nothing of the sort.

**A/N: **I owe every single reader a HUGE apology :( My only excuse is that time has gotten away from me and it's been...a rough couple of months with college classes, a ridiculous amount of 50 hour work weeks, and my sister in the midst of a divorce...all I can say is I promise to have more chapters written soon! All mistakes are my own as I have no beta. This chapter MAY be a tearjerker.

_"An emotional man may possess no humor, but a humorous man usually has deep pockets of emotion, sometimes tucked away or forgotten." ~__Constance Rourke _

* * *

_6:40 PM September 14th 2001_

John sat in the chair next to his sons' bed, holding tightly to the wrist smaller than his own. He smiled at Sam, fast asleep in a similar position on the other side of the bed, head tilted at an awkward angle. The snores were quiet, it was a dreamless sleep.

The surgery had been a success, the surgery was done with two pins in place that would correct the problem and the leg would be just fine in a few weeks. Physically, Dean was doing much betterm and in the few lucid moments when he woke earlier, John noticed that Dean's mind seemed more clear. He had profusely thanked Caleb for talking Dean, the psychic and Dean got along more than any of the other friends, it was perhaps the close age.

In reality, John knew why Dean had survived...and he wanted to badly to tell his son but he knew the time wasn't right. Azazel and the entire subject, for the first time in nearly 18 years could be put to rest, at least until his family was strong enough.

John though about all the times that Dean blamed himself for everything...it had started at a very young age and continued up to this point. No matter what happend, whether it was a loss on a hunt or something involving a friend of theirs' Dean always blamed himself. The earliest incident John remembered all too well.

_

* * *

_

_April 8th 1983_

_"Dean!" Mary exclaimed, rushing as fast as she could to the kitchen where her four year old son was crying on the floor admist a pile of glass._

_His arm was bleeding from a 2 inch gash, a sizeable wound on such a tiny arm. "I told you not to touch the crystal Dean! It's dangerous!" she cried._

_Being nearly 8 months pregnant, it was hard for her to get around very quickly. Her swollen belly prevented her from picking Dean up. "Fuck!" she swore, looking at the clock on the wall. It was quarter after 6 and John should have been home much earlier._

_She ran to the bathroom after situating her son on the couch to grab the first aid-kit. She grabbed a gauze pad and pushed it to his arm after making sure there was no glass in it. She tried calling the garage to get ahold of John but his boss told her he'd left almost 20 minutes earlier. _

_Though she wasn't supposed to Mary ushered Dean, now weak from bloodloss to the car. He had gone pale and was shivering, she knew it was bad. "Damn it John!" She cried as she tried to adjust the seat to allow her to fit into the car. Dean cringed when he heard his mom swear, she'd been using curse words a lot lately, especially at his daddy. _

_Daddy said it was cuz' she was pregnant and had PMS which he told Dean meant "Pissed at men syndrome". He didn't like it when his mommy swore, it scared him. He didn't want her to be mad at him. _

_John pulled into the driveway seconds later and rushed from his truck when he saw his stubborn wife trying to get into the station wagon. "Mary what are you doing?" John yelled, worried for her and the unborn child's safety. It was then he noticed Dean shaking in the front seat. "What happend?" he demanded._

_"Not important right now John! We need to get him to the hospital I'll explain on the way!" John ran to the passenger side of the car and picked his son up, he then rushed to the back-seat of the Impala where Mary was already sitting and he placed his son in, noticing the blood-soaked bandage on his arm._

_"Why weren't you watching him?" John demanded _

_"I had to pee John! Contrary to popular belief I can't do it all on my own! You should have been home at four!" she retorted_

_"Don't try blaming this on me!" John began "I have to work Mary- support our family and Mike needed me to stay a while longer tonight to help him out with the converter job on the caddy." _

_"Your family needs you too John, you obsess over this job and spend more time there than you do at home! Dean needs a father John, and at the rate your going Samuel is going to need a father just as much!" _

_Neither during the argument noticed Dean crying, small sniffles were finally heard by Mary as her maternal instinct kicked in. "Dean?" she cried, alarmed "What's the matter baby?" she worried his arm was causing him more pain._

_"It hurts" He cried._

_"Your arm?" She asked him_

_He shook his small head "Nu-uh- my heart hurts." _

_John swerved at hearing this, immediately worried. "Jesus John!" Mary yelled, "get us there in one piece!" _

_"Why does your heart hurt Dean?" Mary asked_

_"Cuz you and daddy are yelling cuz...cuz of me...I'm just a big dumb-head...you tol' me not to play with the glass but I wanted to have a fort for my army guys...and...now you and daddy are gon' get a divorce like Timmy's mommy and daddy!" _

_Mary knew that at school a classmate of Dean's was going through a rough divorce with both parents involved and she no doubt knew that with the parents there was fighting and there was bound to be talk amongst the kids._

_"Oh Dean!" she assured him "Daddy and I are only mad because we're worried- sometimes when grown-ups get worried we get angry because we are scared!" _

_"Scared?" Dean asked "Daddy's scared?"_

_"Of course he is!" She assured him_

_"But...daddy's never scared...he's always a tough guy like me!" Dean said, astonished at the fact that his big brave daddy could be scared. _

_"Oh your daddy gets scared a LOT Dean!" Mary proceeded to tell him of several other times when John had been in hysterics, from the time Dean had baby croup until now._

_They arrived at the hospital in record breaking time, and 3 hours, 23 minutes, 15 seconds, 12 stitches later the family was at home. Little Dean was groggy from the anesthesia as Mary and John tucked him in._

_"Night Dean-o." Mary told him, beginning their nightly routine._

_"You're my brave big boy and you're always safe" she told him winking. "And you know why that is Dean?" she asked._

_"Cuz angels are watchin' over me." He smiled, proud that he remembered._

_"That's right baby. Goodnight" she whispered as she kissed him._

_That night she and John sat down for a long talk, about how they were going to have to keep their emotions in check around the children, it would be hard to work through some problems they'd have but John had a feeling they'd have a long marriage...a happy marriage filled with memories of Sam joining a soccer team and Dean playing football, being the stud of his team. _

_It was a time of innocence, a time of joy...the small family would be robbed of any chance at normal only 5 months later...when the mother of his children, and the love of John's life was killed._

* * *

He wiped the tears from his eyes at the memory...'look at me now' he thought...'if only Mary could see the mighty John Winchester now.'

"Dad?" Dean asked, worried when he saw his father's tears. "Sammy okay?"

"Your brother's fine." John assured him "I've just been thinking."

"Don't hurt yourself." Dean joked meekly, a small glimmer of his old self beginning to show.

"Haha wise ass." John playfully replied

"Not that I don't like the little touchy feelin' thing you got goin' on dad but my hand is getting kind of numb." Dean winced.

"Sorry kiddo." John told him, quickly realizing he had been squeezing Dean's wrist.

By this point, Sam had started to waken and noticed his father's face "You've been crying dad." he said, worried.

"Wow, did it take all those months at Stanford for you to pick up on hard-core details like that?" John joked, hoping to make light of the situation. "But it's not bust on your old man night."

"Ahh you're right!" Sam retorted "Isn't that this Thursday at the senior center?" This earned chuckles from both Dean and John. John laughed at the joke but Dean was laughing for an entirely different purpose...this was...nice. His family laughing again, all of them. He knew he had something to fight for now.

He had to fight for his brother.

He had to fight for his father, Bobby, Jim, Mac, Caleb...and most of all he had to fight for himself, to get better, the longer he was laid up, the longer more creatures would be out there.

The doctor came in during the midst of the conversation "I heard you had a little surgery today Dean." Carville told him. "How are you feeling?" He asked"Right as rain Doc, when can I get out of here?" Dean asked hopefully.

"Well considering your bodies been through a huge trauma, surgeries, broken bones, injuries...the list goes on...I will do the honor of telling you, you will be our guest for the next several days if not longer."

Dean looked down at hearing this, he didn't mind the fact that he was in a hospital, he just didn't like the feeling of all of the people they'd caught peeking into his room, hoping to get his picture or a glimpse of "miracle boy." Some people had no morals.

John and Sam saw the look on Dean's face, both thinking he hated the idea of being laid up.

"It'll be alright I guess." Dean told them, noting their reactions to his own. "I just...really hate all of the pity looks and questions people are trying to ask me. I just want to get on with my life, I don't want to keep being reminded that I was 'lucky' everytime a news report comes on or a nurse gets curious and wants to look in the room. I feel like a freak-show."

A visitor stepped into the room at this time, and everyone in the room was shocked at who it was...the man stepped forward and spoke with both sadness and admiration "I think I can help you with your problem Dean. The man told him, but first allow me to introduce myself, My name is..."

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*Reviews = LOVE! Okay...I know it was unfair to end with a cliffie after such a long wait! Feel free to guess whoever gets it will get a cookie!

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Never Forget


	15. Chapter 15

**Reviews = Faster Updates.**

**Synopsis**: Pre-series. Dean and John are working separate hunts in New York when the unthinkable happens. It wasn't supposed to happen like this; it was supposed to be an easy hunt.

**Setting: **This story is set in NYC on September 11th 2001, is was also set in Palo Alto, but is not any longer. Pre-series.

**Disclaimer: **Supernatural and all of their associated content belong to Eric Kripke and the CW, I own nothing of the sort.

**A/N: **I owe every single reader a HUGE apology :( My only excuse is that time has gotten away from me and it's been...a rough couple of months with college classes, a ridiculous amount of 50 hour work weeks, and my sister in the midst of a divorce...all I can say is I promise to have more chapters written soon! All mistakes are my own as I have no beta. This chapter will be a bore I know but everyone knows that decent stories come with…filler chapters?

_"An emotional man may possess no humor, but a humorous man usually has deep pockets of emotion, sometimes tucked away or forgotten." ~Constance Rourke _

* * *

_A visitor stepped into the room at this time, and everyone in the room was shocked at who it was...the man stepped forward and spoke with both sadness and admiration "I think I can help you with your problem Dean. The man told him, but first allow me to introduce myself, My name is..."_

The man wasn't allowed to finish as Sam finished for him "Rudy Giuliani."

Sam stared at this man in amazement though it was clear that Dean himself didn't recognize the man.

Both Sam and John recognized the mayor from the last few days' television reports.

"Dean" Sam began "This is the mayor of New York City."

Dean immediately sat up as straight as he could, attempting to mask a grimace of pain.

"Don't worry son," the mayor told him "after what you've been through I'll never see you as weak."

"About helping my son?" John asked, as his curiosity got the best of him.

"Yes sorry" Rudy began "Dean…no one is looking at you as though you are a freak. I'm sure as a matter of fact that it's quite the opposite. Many people are looking at you in admiration, and even a few of the children in the pediatrics ward want to meet the hero on the top floor." the man chuckled.

"Even so I understand the stress you must be feeling right now, and I'm sure you feel as though you aren't healing quickly enough and that your letting people down. Am I right?" he asked.

Dean meekly nodded his head "I hate being seen as weak…" He trailed off as a stray tear wandered down his cheek. He wiped it angrily with his fist. "This isn't me….any of this…" He couldn't explain to the man what he meant. How he was literally just in the wrong place at the wrong time…his true reason for being in the building.

"You feel like you were in the wrong place at the wrong time right?" Rudy asked

Dean almost muttered "Christo" under his breath. There was _no _way that this man could nearly, literally be reading his mind.

The elder man chuckled softly to himself, "I know the feeling…perhaps not the same one but…being the leader that all of these people need right now is no easy task and it's not one I can take on alone…I needed to come here and meet you for my own state of mind…so I could know that if even just one person survived that my being here matters…some how."

Dean understood where the man was coming from.

"Anyways…after hearing your dilemma I'd like to offer what help I can."

"How?" Dean asked "They're all going to keep…satisfying their curiosities and I just need time right now…time with my family I can't stand being here…I just…it's too painful."

"And that Dean is why you are going to be moved" The mayor told him, and after noticing Dean was going to speak he held up his hand "This will be done discreetly and quietly, we are going to put you into an under construction wing just west of the pediatric ward. It is no longer under construction but for now…" he winked "it will remain so."

"Who is going to know about this?" John asked "How can we ensure no one knows about this and that it's sanitary?"

"Mr. Winchester, the wing was entirely re-done and is ready to be unveiled but it is being used strictly right now for Dean. Under the hospital administrators guidance and permission it is being moved around right now with the necessary equipment. And only a team of three nurses and Dean's attending physician will know about this arrangement."

"When is it going to happen?" Sam asked

"I'd like it to happen as soon as possible and we're going to have to have a body double for this. Someone that is around the same size as your brother to take to a different wing of the hospital to avoid suspicion."

Sam and John mutually spoke "Caleb" because they young psychic was the same build as Dean.

* * *

While the necessary calls were made Dean was contemplating the move.

'_On the plus side" he thought "I won't feel like a circus freak…" and he continued to ponder…'On the down side…I don't wanna be coward…" _

"Whose a coward duce?" asked Caleb playfully as he entered the room, his larger-than-life presence lightening Dean's mood noticeably. "Cuz I sure as hell know you ain't talking about yourself right?"

"Like you don't already know what I was thinkin' Caleb." Dean replied back.

"Eh doesn't matter" Caleb supplied "I only heard it if you wanted me to." He winked at Dean.

Only a moment later Mackland Ames walked into the room and playfully smacked Caleb "Is my son spying again Dean?" He asked

Dean smiled but Mac could tell he just wanted this day to be over with.

"How about we get this show on the road okay Dean?" He asked

Dean nodded his head, relieved, "Definitely."

"Alrighty." Mackland acknowledged before calling into the hall "Come on in Janet…We're ready."

A slim red-headed nurse entered the room, and Dean immediately perked up. He watched her with curiosity as she pulled an empty gurney along-side herself.

"It's time Caleb." Mac told his son, leaving Dean to wonder what Caleb was supposed to do.

"Can't I do it while I'm in the bed dad?" Caleb whined, before grudgingly removing his jacket and jeans to reveal a scantily clad body wearing only a hospital gown.

"Is…ridiculous" Dean heard as Caleb pulled his jacket over his head.

Dean laughed along with Mac at Caleb's obvious discomfort.

"This is what you look like under there." Caleb grumbled, still grinning.

Dean stopped laughing…"Except for the scars.." he whispered.

"Awe Duce" Caleb sighed…"I didn't mean it like that."

Dean just turned his head, it was obvious that tears were trailing down his face.

"It's Okay Damien" Dean whispered, and Caleb felt like his heart broke at hearing his true name…."Dean…"

"You boys ready?" Mack interrupted as he ushered Caleb into the waiting bed.

"As I'll ever be." Caleb said, all the while trying to think of how to make Dean happy…it would happen it was just a matter of when and where!

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*Reviews* LOVED; Even though I have no right to ask for them L


	16. Chapter 16

**Reviews = Faster Updates.**

**Synopsis**: Pre-series. Dean and John are working separate hunts in New York when the unthinkable happens. It wasn't supposed to happen like this; it was supposed to be an easy hunt.

**Setting: **This story is set in NYC on September 11th 2001, is was also set in Palo Alto, but is not any longer. Pre-series.

**Disclaimer: **Supernatural and all of their associated content belong to Eric Kripke and the CW, I own nothing of the sort.

**A/N: **A bit of a shorter wait eh? I know…I need to write more before I publish to minimize the times but…well this was written on a whim so I hope you like it. No excuses this time other than…I just haven't felt like writing.

_"How to gain, how to keep, how to recover happiness is in fact for most men at all times the secret motive of all they do, and of all they are willing to endure."_

* * *

_The move to the new wing was anything but simple. It seemed if something could get in the way it did. _

_A reporter had snuck their way up to the ICU by posing as a patient to try to get the first pictures of the "Miracle Man" but neither the nurses or physicians would have any of it and the man was whisked away but security in a flurry of activity._

_It was during this flurry that Dean was allowed to make his clean escape. His stretcher was whisked in one direction, with the appearance of a "Corpse" while the stretcher carrying Caleb went in a different direction._

With their plan in motion, the move went on with success. Once Dean was settled in his room, all of the surrogate family gathered in the room with him.

John, Jim, Caleb, Bobby, Mac, and Sam crowded around Dean as the doctors hooked the machines up.

"I think you'll find everything here much less hectic Dean." Carville winked at Dean before continuing "As I said earlier this area until recently was under construction so it isn't being used as much. Your call button still works the same and it will take no longer for myself, or one of the nurses to reach your room than it would in any other room in the hospital." he finished wanting to assure Dean and his anxious family that the same precautions were being continued.

"Thanks Doc." Dean smiled, knowing that Carville had worked over time to make the move possible for him.

As Carville checked the machines one last time before turning Dean's care over to Mac he turned to Dean "One last thing kiddo…There were some anxious faces downstairs earlier that wanted to know how you were doing and if it would be okay for them to visit at some point."

Dean looked on with obvious interest, wondering who these anxious faces were that were different than the reporters.

The doctor looked down at a piece of paper attached to his clipboard "Names were Desoto and Gage…two paramedics from the station you were assigned." Dean sat up, immediately wincing at the pain that overcame his extremities. "Are they okay?" he asked. In all of the fray and confusion since that day he hadn't remembered the members of his temporary crew.

"The dynamic duo is…making it work." Said Carville, clearly leaving out some vital information..

"What is it doc?" Dean asked, not wanting to be treated as an infant just because of his current incapacitation.

Carville looked around at the members of the family near Dean, it was obvious that they all wanted to know what was happening as well.

"I'll save that for another day Dean." he said

Dean made a move to interrupt but Carville turned to him and spoke direct "That is not up for argument Dean. As your medical head I have to make decisions that are in your best interest and telling you that information is not beneficial for your health after the stressful day you've had today. Have a good afternoon and get some rest "Dean" he nodded before turning "Gentlemen." And with that farewell Carville was off.

Mac followed Carville into the hallway where they spoke for a while leaving Dean and the others to wonder exactly what was going on.

* * *

When Mac came back into the room he spoke with the others. "Dean I have contacted the hospital I work in and they have agreed to give me an extended leave of absence considering the circumstances. Carville and I both agree that this environment is far too stressful to continue your current treatment plan." he paused to let the information sink in.

"You're going to need several small surgeries over the next few months. All are relatively minor and we just have to wait until your current wounds heal before we add pressure to your body in it's current state. Jim, myself, and Caleb are going to head to Blue Earth to get the farmhouse ready for you. I can keep an eye on you there and it's a lot easier to house all of us and less hectic with the media. Is that something you'd like to consider Dean?" Mac finished.

"Consider?" Dean asked "What is there to consider? Consider it done! Where's the discharge papers?" "Slow down there son." John laughed, glad to see some of his son's old spirit returning.

"It's going to take about three days to get all of the equipment that we will need delivered and for us to get the ranch set up." Mac explained "Jim will be leaving tonight and Caleb and myself will be leaving at first light tomorrow morning."

"Where do I come in, in this equation?" Dean asked

"The ride would be too long and stressful on you and they say planes should be clear to fly within the next 24-48 hours so you will be taking a helicopt-…" Dean interrupted Mac. "Helicopter? As in flying? No…n-no-not happening Mac."

It dawned on Mac what Dean was talking about. He couldn't believe he had been so dull as to even consider making the suggestion of flying in a commercial helicopter.

He was quiet for a moment as he tried to consider an option that Dean would agree to.

After a few moments of silence he turned to Bobby "Have you been in touch with Dr. Vilyak?"

Bobby thought for a moment "Can't reckon I have…not recently anyways." Bobby knew that the archaeologist/ghoul was often away on treasure hunts…and she reached her destination by private plane.

"I can give her a call if Dean agrees to it." Bobby nods, sure the Elaine would give him no problem.

"That…would be okay I guess." Dean nodded "As long as it means getting out of here."

For the first time in days Dean was excited about something, but the news that Carville was hiding from him was nagging at him from the back of his mind,

He knew he should be happier that in a matter of days he'd be able to relax in the serene environment of Pastor Jim's farm but…what weren't they telling him about his crewmates?

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	17. Chapter 17

_I don't own the Winchesters, I just like to play with them. I promise to dust'em off and put them back when I'm done with them._

_Excuse this time? I lost my fiancee about 4 months ago and I lost a lot with him- my courage and my strength, and nearly my will to continue. I'm back now to writing and saving lives in the hospital where I work so until next time goodbye._

* * *

_After a few moments of silence he turned to Bobby "Have you been in touch with Dr. Vilyak?"_

_Bobby thought for a moment "Can't reckon I have…not recently anyways." Bobby knew that the archaeologist/ghoul was often away on treasure hunts…and she reached her destination by private plane._

_"I can give her a call if Dean agrees to it." Bobby nods, sure the Elaine would give him no problem._

_"That…would be okay I guess." Dean nodded "As long as it means getting out of here."_

_For the first time in days Dean was excited about something, but the news that Carville was hiding from him was nagging at him from the back of his mind,_

_He knew he should be happier that in a matter of days he'd be able to relax in the serene environment of Pastor Jim's farm but…what weren't they telling him about his crewmates?_

Dr. Vilyak smiled to herself as she glanced at the caller ID on her phone. "Bobby" she smiled as she answered "How are you?"

"Not so good at the moment." He replied and she waited for him to continue.

"The…accident that happened in New York a couple days back…" he stopped unsure of how to continue.

"The terrorist attack" she replied "I've heard about it of course."

"Would you be able to fly out here?" Bobby asked "We…could really use your plane, there's been an emergency."

"My plane?" she asked incredulously "You've asked for some pretty crazy stuff over the years Robert but _my plane? _What could you POSSIBLY need my plane for?"

"Dean Winchester was working a case…the phantom jumper in one of the towers…at the time of the…collapse he was in the building."

Vilyak paled "Is he…"

"He's alive." responded Bobby. "But all this attention ain't doin him one bit of good and we're trying to get him out to Blue Earth so Mackland Ames can do what's necessary in a homier environment."

"When do you need me and where?" she asked, all kidding aside. John's boys were like her own and she wouldn't let them down.

* * *

Dean smiled as he waved Caleb and Mac off. They were leaving in preparation of Dean's upcoming travel to Blue Earth.

Jim had called earlier that morning to let them know that he and Martha had the ranch being scrubbed down from the ground up and that they had started contact with the local hospital where the supplies would be delivered from.

"It looks good Dean!" Sam smiled as he walked into the room. "You ready for your visitors?"

"As I'll ever be." Dean smoothed a comb through his recently trimmed hair and wiped his face off with a towel as gently as he could.

"Gentlemen" John smiled as he escorted Roy DeSoto and Johnny Gage into the room.

Each man waved their arms in greeting and smiled when they saw Dean.

"How you doing man?" asked Johnny "You're looking a lot better than the last time I saw you."

Dean looked around the room at his 'family' his dad and Sam were sitting on the other side of the room trying not to pry but failing miserably. Bobby was conked out on the bed adjacent to his own. "I'm doing alright." Dean finally acquiesced "One day at a time I guess."

Roy finally spoke up "It's good to hear your getting out of here." He said in a quiet tone of voice "the city's not for everyone and it seems like you have a good team to back you up once you get out of here."

"How is everyone?" Dean asked

Roy and Johnny looked to each other before Roy spoke "Everyone is doing…well… as you said I guess: one day at a time."

"It's rough out there…people are nervous, Always looking over their shoulders waiting for the next attack. The people are looking for answers and we're not sure what to tell them." Johnny said.

Dean felt…relieved after hearing this from the two men he considered his own saviors. They spoke unabashedly about the reality of the situation outside of the hospital and he really appreciated their honesty.

"Thank you guys for coming to see me. I mean it. I'm not sure if I'll see you again before I go but…from the bottom of my heart thank…." Dean's voice trailed off as his father's cell phone began to ring.

"Sorry!" John whispered before stepping into the hallway to take the call.

Dean continued "Thank you."

DeSoto's cheeks turned red and Gage held his hand out for a shake. "You'll be alright man and we'll keep in touch." Dean reached out and shook his hand noticing the gentleness in the simple gesture.

"You guys have a great day." Sam said as he stood and hugged both of them. "Easy does it Sammy." Dean spoke up "The men are paramedics they need their breath."

The men both smiled at Dean and took their leave.

"Whew" Dean turned to Sam "That wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. They're good guys."

Sam started to reply to Dean but was cut off from John speaking frantically in the hall way. Both Dean and Sam listened quietly to their father's hushed tones as he finally stumbled into the room and collapsed onto his knees.

"Dad?" each boy spoke aloud, grabbing Bobby's attention as well.

"What?" Bobby asked as he quickly sat up.

"Oh God." John cried as he grabbed his chest and began to hyperventilate. "Think m' heart…"

Sam frantically pushed the call button and knelt down next to his father and Bobby on the floor. Dean looked on helplessly as they struggled to find out what happened to John.

John lay motionless on the floor, chest rising and falling unevenly but completely unconscious. Carville rushed into the room, expecting to find Dean needing assistance but never expecting it to be John.

"What happened?" he asked as he knelt onto the floor, pushing Sam and Bobby out of his way none-too-gently.

"He was upset on the phone and he just collapsed." Sam explained

Carville took his stethoscope and listened to John's heart. "It's definitely beating fast but I hear no sign of an arrhythmia and it's strong."

He felt the pulse points at John's neck and wrist and he listened to his breathing.

"My best guess at the moment gentlemen is that he passed out from…something that caused him a great shock. But I'd still like to run some tests before your flight tomorrow to be sure that it's nothing more serious." Carville walked off returning only moments later with a wheelchair.

"Bobby." Carville motioned to John "Mind helping me with him?" Bobby nodded and quickly helped to rouse John who was thoroughly disoriented.

"I'm going to take your father to run some simple tests on him." Carville told them all before taking John downstairs to cardiology and pulmonology.

"What happened Bobby?" Sam asked "Who was dad talking to?"

"That's what I'm going to find out." Bobby said as he picked up the abandoned phone and looked to the call logs the last incoming call was received about 25 minutes ago and It was from…Bobby stopped talking for a moment before he told the boys "Ellen Harvelle from the Roadhouse."

"Ellen?" Sam asked "But she wouldn't call dad…no way."

"Bobby call her back." Dean said "Find out why she called dad and what she told him."

"One step ahead of you boys." Bobby said as he pressed the redial button.

* * *

The phone rang twice on the wall before Ellen answered it "Roadhouse."

"Ellen." Bobby said "Nice to hear from ya."

"What do you want Singer?" Ellen asked, she had no intention of talking to the man when she was in such a state.

"I need you to sober up _fast _and tell me what you just told Winchester that had him whiter than my freshest sheets. "

"He won't tell you himself?" She asked, not wanting to get into the story again.

Bobby explained the situation with Dean from the ground up and into what happened to John just moments earlier.

"God." Ellen stammered. "I'm sorry Bobby."

"Can you please just _tell us _what has made John so upset?"

Ellen looked to the photos in front of her and over to Ash "Bobby…the yellow eyed demon is dead. Rufus Adams took the colt to him about two days ago. It's over."

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	18. Chapter 18

Reviews = Faster Updates.

Synopsis: Pre-series. Dean and John are working separate hunts in New York when the unthinkable happens. It wasn't supposed to happen like this; it was supposed to be an easy hunt.

Setting: This story is set in NYC on September 11th 2001, is was also set in Palo Alto, but is not any longer. Pre-series.

Disclaimer: Supernatural and all of their associated content belong to Eric Kripke and the CW, I own nothing of the sort.

A/N: It's taken me a long time to get back into the swing of things…but I'm back now and I'll have more out faster. Thank you EVERYONE for reading and reviewing + to everyone that has sent me encouragement over the last year—thank you.

"You were born to be real, not to be perfect. You're here to be you, not to be what someone else wants you to be. Stand up for yourself, look them in the eye, and say Don't judge me until you know me, don't underestimate me until you've challenged me, and don't talk about me until you've talked to me." ~Unknown

* * *

_"__God." Ellen stammered. "I'm sorry Bobby."_

_"Can you please just tell us what has made John so upset?"_

_Ellen looked to the photos in front of her and over to Ash "Bobby…the yellow eyed demon is dead. Rufus Adams took the colt to him about two days ago. It's over."_

Bobby was silent as the reality of what she had said sunk in.

"Bobby?" Ellen called "Are you there?'

"I- I gotta go Ellen." Bobby stammered "I'll call you with an update as soon as I have one."

Dean nervously looked to Bobby as Sam tried keeping him calm.

"What is it Bobby?" Sam asked "You look whiter than dad!"

Bobby shuffled back and forth for a few moments as he clutched the cellphone so hard his fingers had whitened.

"Bobby." Dean cut in, gasping as the stress was begin to wear on him. "Please."

Bobby turned to Dean "The…the yellow eyed Demon is dead."

"What?" Dean exclaimed "How?"

"Are you sure Bobby?" Sam whispered

"I'm gonna call around some." Bobby told them "But apparently Rufus Adams took the colt to him and…sent his yellow ass back to hell where he belongs."

"No wonder dad freaked." Sam sighed

"If…if this is true." Said Dean, voice raw "Then we-we're free. The son of a bitch that killed mom is dead."

Sam slowly sank into the chair next to Dean's bed, eyes unconsciously monitoring Dean's vitals.

The atmosphere was silent as Bobby exited the room to check in with some contacts.

No one made a move; Dean sat in silent contemplation as Sam sat still with his head in his hands. The yellow eyed Demon was dead. What was there to say?

Dean finally broke the silence "Sam, Can you check on dad?"

Sam looked up with tears in his eyes before speaking "Carville will bring him back Dean—I don't want to leave you alone."

Dean hadn't been left alone since returning from surgery and although his vitals were stronger and his condition wasn't critical Sam was still hesitant to leave him alone.

"Please Sammy." Dean whispered, chest heaving as gruesome scenarios ran through his head "I can't lose him too."

With a heavy heart Sam placed a calming hand on his brother's shoulder "Okay Dean, Okay relax. I'll go find out."

He stood from the chair and turned once more looking at Dean "I'll be _right _back Dean."

"I know, I'll be fine Sam." Dean gave him a pointed look before closing his eyes and resting his head back against the pillow.

Sam walked into the hallway towards Bobby who was talking quite animatedly on the phone "And their sure?" Bobby was asking before he noticed Sam.

"Just one sec Amos." Bobby moved the phone from his ear "Everything okay son?"

"Yea—keep an eye on Dean I'm going to check on dad, Dean won't relax until I do."

Bobby nodded his affirmation and Sam continued toward the elevator so he could follow signs for Cardiology and Pulmonology.

Once he found cardiology Sam was directed towards the respiratory therapy room and he found his father sitting up on a bed, legs dangling off the sides as a small child's would.

"Dad?" Sam asked and John paled before standing "Sam? What happened?"

"Nothing dad!" Sam rushed to assure him "Dean wanted me to check on you."

Carville entered the room a moment later "All the tests came back fine Sam, it would appear as though your father simply suffered a panic attack."

Sam's body visibly sagged in relief before John stood "So we can get back to my boy?" John asked

Carville nodded his consent "Just take it easy John, you have to remember at your age that a cardiac episode is very possible try to keep your excitement to a minimum I'll be up shortly to check on Dean anyways."

John and Sam quickly thanked him before nearly tripping over each other in their haste to get to Dean.

On the way upstairs Sam filled John in on the revelation that they all knew Azazel was dead and John nodded in understanding when Sam told him that Bobby was calling around to check for the full story and confirmation of it's facts.

John was the first to notice Bobby entering Dean's room just ahead of them.

Dean looked up once Bobby entered the room "What did you find out?" he asked, hope resonating in his question "We'd like to know as well." John smiled as he entered the room with Sam.

"It's true." Bobby said simply "They laid the bait—he took it and it's over."

"That simple?" Sam asked

"There's more to it." Bobby told them "But the important part to know is that old yellow eyes is dead and he ain't coming back."

John nodded "I have to agree boys, for now what's dead will stay dead we can force the rest of the story out from Bobby later." He checked his watch "We have a long day tomorrow so I think we should all get some rest this afternoon, I have a feeling no one will sleep easy tonight."

Bobby let them know that he was going to head to the hotel to clean up their belongings and get some shut eye before coming back later.

The boys bid their farewell to Bobby and Sam turned to John "Heed your own advice old man." Sam told him "Get some sleep. I can sleep in the chair but you're taking the bed."

John was too tired to argue after the day they'd had…hell after the week they'd had.

"Ain't gotta tell me twice." Dean sighed before attempting to get comfortable. He cried out in pain as he tried to shift to a more manageable position.

John flew from the bed and Sam rushed to Dean's side, trying to support him as he turned. "Easy bro" Sam muttered "We gotcha."

Once they had Dean comfortable everyone turned in for the afternoon—it was certainly going to be a long night.

* * *

*A/N: I know there was obviously OOC moments for all and that the story has taken a more serious tone but…it was a pretty serious event. All mistakes are mine.

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